DS 15 making poor choices/getting in trouble

[ThirstyMeeples]

Hiya, I don't know if I'm looking for advice or solidarity but any help would be appreciated.
DS is a great kid; he's sporty, bright, popular and polite at home. In the last few months he keeps getting into trouble at school... Just recurrent low level things and some things more concerning.
Things like going into an out of bound area, missing 1st period (he had been asked to do an errand but no reason to miss the whole period) Also I've caught him vaping and with nicotine pouches. He will then say how sorry he is and promise not to touch them again but lo and behold, I end up finding them.
We've tried calm and reasonable eg talking about health risks, we've talked about consequences such as getting caught at school could lead to serious issues. He agrees and apologises but then seems to continue with the behaviours.
His group of friends are the popular kids but they are so harsh with one another. The 'banter' is next level and I know it upsets DS at times. He feels he gets the banter directed towards him more often than others buts denies it is bullying as says they are all like that with each other. It's such a harsh environment though and I don't feel like they really have his back.
He's also been in trouble for being part of the group that are mean to other kids. It's the same 'banter' but clearly not acceptable.
We've punished him, talked it through at length, done more stuff as a family to counteract the school environment, made him spend more time downstairs etc.
I'm getting to my wit's end with it all now. DH and I are 'on it' but we can't seem to influence what happens when we're not around.
Is this normal?? Anything else I can do? Anyone else have similar tales and it resolved OK?
I've asked for another meeting with the form tutor to see what else we can do.
Thanks.

He’s only 15, if he can’t be convinced to change his behaviour then you have every right and responsibility to physically curtail it.
I suspect his so-called friends are at the heart of a lot of this. I’d put a tracking app on his phone to discourage him from messaging them, even if he goes ballistic

How is he funding the nicotine patches? Stop giving him money, he can have a topped-up travel card if he needs it and a packed lunch if that’s what it takes.

Don’t let him talk his way out of it by saying he’ll stop of his own accord. It’s harsh but better to prevent him from becoming entrenched in bad behaviour now so that he’s better equipped to self-regulate his behaviour as he gets older.

Sounds like you’re doing all you can and that’s all you can do. It’s probably the influence of the crowd he’s hanging around with, I too have a 15yr old boy , same scenario gets caught, full of apologies but then revisits the behaviours. I just keep at it. I’ve now stopped pocket money to prevent the unwanted behaviours I’m still in the thick of the troubles so I can only offer comfort to say you’re not alone. They ultimately have choices to make and boys tend to choose what makes them look cool! Keep going he sounds like a good boy deep down that comes from a good home so he’ll fall into line eventually but I find with my son, he has to feel the crunch of his actions sometimes before he can make the change. X

Thanks both so much. I appreciate any advice and also solidarity.
We have stopped his allowance. I have said he needs to earn it back by consistent good behaviour. We spoke again this morning about taking a minute to pause and think before acting. I'm hoping this will kick in at some point.
I also arranged a meeting with his form tutor and he has had a firm word so we're trying to tackle it from all angles.
Also, no parties until exams are done.
It's so hard as I know he's a good boy but am afraid of him making a bad choice that he can't come back from.
We will keep trying, keep supporting and keep going.
All advice welcome. Thanks.