To buy a birthday present or not?

[Brendathebridesmaid]

Can’t believe I'm actually writing a thread on this and feel incapable of advising DD on what should be a pretty simple decision.

DD 14 has friend who has been a fairly constant friend but recently (last 2-3 weeks) has been really unpleasant to DD, calling her a “fxxxing wxnker” and the like. The girl seems to have no filter anyway and has recently started self harming.

Friend's birthday is next week. Does DD buy a gift or not? Or does she not and risk this girl flaming her forever. Friend is pretty vocal and I suspect will not forgive and will mouth off about her to the rest of the fairly small year group. Generally I don’t mind the girl, although she does seem to be acting pretty abusively right now.

For context DD does have other friends but not tons.

No of course you don't buy a present for someone who is horrible to you and calls you a fucking wanker. Why on earth would you reward that with a present?

Umm… no? I wouldn’t buy fuck all for someone who called me a fucking wanker so definitely not if they’d called my kids one.

@sheknowsitstoolate DD would be buying present, not me. She’s a bit scared of the fallout if she doesn’t, but I guess she might get some more kudos if she takes a stand

Of course dd gets her friend a present - the friend clearly has issues / problems at the moment as she has started self harming ! dd could be finding out why ?

DD has asked. Girl has said “none of your business”

I think at that age I would but if the abuse continues your dd needs to cut her off