Why is she doing these strange things?

[NameChange81]

My daughter has always had a habit of putting LOADS of toilet roll down the toilet. She has blocked it up many times and we have needed to call a plumber but this was mostly when she was under the age of 10 so we put it down to her just being mischievous.

Thing is, now she's 14 and is still doing it. Everytime she goes to the toilet she uses almost a full roll. I have asked her why she keeps doing this and she gets defensive and says "What do you want me to do? use no toilet roll?" or "I can't help it can I!" etc...

We bought an 8 pack of toilet rolls on saturday and the last one ran out this morning.

Why? I don't understand why she would do this.

When she was younger I would go in and find her just putting toilet roll down the toilet for the sake of it, the whole toilet would be full of toilet roll but she wouldn't actually be using it, just putting it down the toilet.

Obviously I don't go in the bathroom when she's in there now so am not sure whether she is actually using it or doing the same as she used to when she was younger. Just wasting it on purpose.

She seems too old to be acting like this now. I don't understand it.

Oh and yesterday I caught her picking paint off the kitchen door and laughing quite manically.

I often hear her laughing like mad in her room even though she is not reading, watching TV or on the PC, she just laughs manically at nothing.

She has no friends.

No idea sorry. Maybe she's just laughing at something she remembers happening, not more sinister than that or in her room, does she have maybe earphones on when she's laughing at something? Otherwise I really don't know. By all accounts I was a strenuous teenager but I didn't do those things, more sulky I think.

The loo roll - has she got her period maybe or is it always like this?

Not sure that she would bother clogging up the toilet on purpose at her age. Maybe she just rents off long trails at a time and keeps going till she feels clean? How about wet wipes? Maybe if she wet wipes and then dries, she'll use less in the end?

If she used to block the toilet with toilet paper and then stopped and has re-started, something may have happened which has really upset her. Teenage dc can be quite nasty to each other at school. Is everything ok there as far as you know? You say she doesn't seem to have friends atm.

No she does it all the time. She hasn't had a period for over two months, she has only just turned 14.

The laughing is very often too, I have peeped in her room before to see what she was laughing at and she just sits on the floor throwing herself from one side to the other whilst laughing manically. If she see's me looking she stops and gets really nasty as if she's embarrassed.

She is being bullied I think, she told me yesterday that some girls were whispering about her saying that she "doesn't even shave her armpits" and the boys call her a beached whale etc because she is over weight.

I am dealing with the school but her behaviour is just so strange, like when it was red hot at weekend she insisted on having her bedroom windows closed all weekend.

If some of the dc at school have been saying things like that to her, she must be very upset. Hate the way teenagers can be so cruel as if they have suspended all sense of empathy for 3 years or so.

I don't know what could lie behind the toilet roll thing but it goes back a long way. The laughing and keeping the windows shut would worry me too. I can't understand it either.

Is there someone in her life (a granny maybe) she might be more likely to confide in than in her dp? Do you think it might be worth having a word with a doctor/counsellor to put your own mind at rest about what is going on and how to deal with it?

She sounds very disturbed .

I think you should urgently make an appointment with your family doctor (just you in the first instance) and have a chat about her. Don't tell say anything to your daughter initially.

could the toilet roll thing be an OCD symptom?

My sister used to drive my mum mad by having to count the sheets and if she miscounted she would start again!

i do think that you should get some form of help for her.

Teenage years can be so hard and painful when you dont fit in. Can you try to find ways/things to do to encourage her to be more possitive about herself.

Is she allowed to shave her armpits? does she wear deodorant. Does she try things with her hair or is she not interested in that kind of thing. If she might be interested could you help her?

She has told you that she is being bullied and whilst the school might deal with it, it would be better if you or grandmother/aunt type could help to build her confidence up as suggested by sssandy.

i too think i would be a little concerned by the laughing but once again it could be aprt of an OCD problem.
good luck

I agree she sounds disturbed and needs to see someone.
I would have a chat to your GP and see what they say.

Does she talk freely to you about her worries and problems?

Thanks for the advice.

She is under the school councelor and a behaviour expert team who are refering her to a physciatrist.

The school mentioned that she was taking a little dragon toy into school and going on and on about it to the teachers as if it were a priceless thing...almost a real animal so to speak.

She is not interested in personal hygiene at all, has to be forced to get a bath or shower. No interest in fashion either. She won't talk to anyone, won't do anything. My elder daughter offered to take her to aerobics (to help with the weight) or swimming lessons, tennis...anything but she won't go.

I'm glad your daughter is getting a referral to a psychiatrist.

Presumably you too will get some feedback on your daughter once this process is underway?

It sounds like your daughter is quite depressed and very lonely.

My dd (11) used to take small keyring type animals into school so that she would have someone to talk to (she was bullied) i found a little card with a peom on it for her about whenever she feels lonely and i cant be there in person to hug her she should hold this card close to her heart and feel the hug from it. I wouldnt worry too much about the dragon issue at the moment. it might be the only bit of security she feels she has. Sometimes the 'real world' is too scary and nasty to be in and so children (and adults sometimes) create their own 'worlds' where they feel safe.

The reason i asked about the personal hygiene/appearance was that my sister had no (still doesnt really) interest in her appearance, as she was too caught up in her OCD.

when your daughter started filling the toilet up with loo roll was there an issue happening in her/family life? death of a pet, grandparent, divorce, friend moved away, house move. something you could pin point to the start of it or did it just start.

can you see it happen more when you are busy and wrapped up in something because it could be the 1 thing she knows will get a reaction from you?

i'm glad she will be getting help while she is still young and i hope that you also get the support you need to be able to deal with this.
good luck

i truly don't have any advice, i just think 'ohhh bless her little heart'