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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

16 year old dd

3 replies

BeHardySheep · 24/03/2025 12:03

Hello,

I wonder if anyone has any advice please.

My dd is 16. She’s super clever, pretty, funny etc in short, she has everything going for her. I also have a DS aged 20. Out of my two, dd has been a challenge. Wasn’t any easy baby, bad terrible twos, etc. Everything has been dramatic. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to bits, I’m incredibly proud of her and I tell her this often. I’ve tried to be a good mum, making time for her, girls shopping trips, pamper days, treats, lots of hugs etc.

As a teenager, she has been awful. Constant arguments, I’m the target. I can’t seem to do anything right. For example, she tried to put some of my clothes in the tumble dryer to shrink them to make me feel bad as I’d lost weight and was feeling good about myself. She’s swears at me, she called me a ‘fat c**t’, I never use that word btw as I detest it.The list is endless. I feel bullied tbh. DH tells me ignore her. It’s just a constant circle of fighting, I don’t argue back as it makes it worse, so I just take it and try to stay calm.

Just for background, my parents have both passed away, my dad last year, I was holding his hand when he died and I’m still reeling from this. I had a mental breakdown last year triggered by the menopause. I was suicidal, no exaggeration. I’m also in the throes of the menopause and I can’t take HRT as i progesterone intolerant. I’m at breaking point.

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 24/03/2025 12:06

How do you respond when she calls you these names?

StarLady1989 · 24/03/2025 12:07

Oh my goodness OP I am so sorry.

BeHardySheep · 24/03/2025 12:26

one time she called me a ‘fat c’, it was just before her birthday, so I cancelled her birthday plans.

I do tell her this is totally unacceptable and that I would have never behaved like this as a teenager to my parents (I really wouldn’t, I was moody but nothing else.) She thinks ‘everyone does it’ ! I’ve told her ‘no, they don’t!’ I used to talk to my dad about her and he was horrified at her behaviour.

In the past, I taken her devices -
phone, iPad, but she just doesn’t care. Over the weekend, I ran a half marathon, it was a tough course and I’d been training for months. The night before, she started a massive argument (about gcses as she didn’t want to revise). I was in tears again. I couldn’t sleep so I was exhausted before the race. I got through it but not as well as I’d hoped for. Feels a bit like she did it deliberately to sabotage my race. (Or maybe I’m just feeing a bit sorry for myself 🙄).

OP posts:
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