Phones for Yr 7 -talk me through this

[NooNooMummy]

Can someone talk me through exactly how to make a smart phone dumb. Truly dumb. So that the child can’t go into settings and remove all limits and restrictions. And so that apps aren’t merely not on the home screen but are actually gone, never to be downloaded again. I want to it to have just the 3x Ts and 3x Ms - text, talk, taking pictures, mail, messages (a very locked-down WhatsApp) and music.

Thank you

(And feel free to give me your theories about why it’s still so difficult for parents to do this!!!)

I don’t really care about that. If for example I’m leaving my 12 y o alone for a couple of hours while I go to the supermarket, I want her not to have only a mobile to contact me/emergency services. She doesn’t charge her mobile at the best of times. A landline means there’s a backup.

True! I work for an employer that has chosen not to go with current guidance on cookies and the gathering of information unless and until there are more serious sanctions that we would face. And this is a reputable, respected, ‘nice’ organisation. (And, frankly, a company tracking the products that my child looks at and sending her emails about them would be the least of my worries). But in this landscape, WTF chance do I have with half-arsed parental controls and people saying she mustn’t be ‘isolated.’ Companies don’t care about doing things fairly, protecting her or making sure they’re not addictive. The government and regulators need to pull their fingers out…
But thank you everyone for the guidance, I am going to try again.

So I have my internet locked down to block YouTube, tik tok etc. I have Family Sharing that allows me to limit her PC laptop from my Iphone. (And she uses this laptop for homework through google classroom and various other things TimeTable Rockstars etc
) There’s a kids messenger on my iphone which she uses. Everything else on my phone is locked down, needs my face but she frequently messages her friend then sneakily downloads things off safari to watch, using my mobile data, I guess.

Advice please!!! And how do I throw a phone of her own into this mix?!!!!

(Just tried downloading her kids messenger onto her PC laptop and bloomin google play, Amazon-family something and my own Family sharing whatever prevents this).

im not a stupid person. Im doing my best here!

Are you in the US?
I don't think you get kids messenger in the UK. Messenger being the Facebook Messenger app?

I don't think I'd put Google Play onto her laptop unless it's a Chrome book.

If you get her a phone, and since your are an Apple user I'd try and stick with Apple and whatever their Family controls are.
Either by buying secondhand older model or an SE which is more budget friendly.

she frequently messages her friend then sneakily downloads things off safari to watch, using my mobile data, I guess.

Our number 1 rule is that we are building trust by letting our 12 year old have a phone - we check it regularly and any problems, it gets further locked down or removed when at home. This sneaky behaviour would equal no phone in my house, until she proves we can trust her.

I think if the school is making everything smartphone dependent then they need pressure putting on them.DD is starting secondary next year and a letter came out with the offer asking parents not to buy smartphones and the school is totally phone free during the day (yes yes with exceptions for e.g. Diabetes monitoring of course). If they have an app for homework surely that can be viewed on a family device at home?

A number of London boroughs have got headteacher together to agree an approach across all schools.

We know loads of year 7s and 8s who don't have smartphones. They have brick phones and text the old fashioned way about meeting up. Happy days. I wouldn't have trusted myself with a phone at 11, no way am I trusting DDs with them and they're pretty sensible kids. The thing is, a lot of kids aren't sensible, and that's your problem.

Has this turned into an ad for Wingio? Where is it for sale?

I and every parent I know have exactly this problem. I wanted to give my son (year 8) a dumb phone but actually he needs WhatsApp for chatting to friends. So we tried using it on a PC but you need a smart phone anyway for that.

So I made an Android phone with a single WhatsApp option: everything else is disabled. Its just a home screen redesigned with WhatsApp and nothing else. No browsers or anything.
I was wondering if there is demand for something like that because it would be fun to make them and they would be pretty cheap (c. £100 I think depending on the phone of course).
I think it would be good with Spotify and Maps (so they can have some music and not get lost). Would that be of interest to people?

Have you seen the balance phone? You can also just use an ordinary smart phone and buy their os system.

Have a look at some of the options on here:
https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/alternatives

I think all of the kids phone options are a bit doomed because you only need a couple of people with WhatsApp and suddenly you've got full pressure to get a fully featured smart phone. What I was trying to do was to concede on WhatsApp but not just have everything else enabled - and not need to have a PhD to work out how to set it up right.

I'd say go Android not iphone, my experience is it's easier to control. We use a paid for app Screen Time App £18 a year for unlimited devices. You can block apps including default block any new ones downloaded and time restrict individual apps while allowing others (eg unlimited Kindle). You can't uninstall or disable it without the passcode. We've used it for about 7 years none of my 3 kids, including the one doing computer science has managed to get round it.

This in conjunction with having rules about phones always charging downstairs at night and that as long as we pay for the phone we have the right to check it so must know the passcode and they know we will ocassionally check it for their own safety.

Also no big WhatsApp groups. No groups at all unless it's literally a handful of close friends.

And all this with a serious conversation about how if they break the rules/attempt to override the controls they will no longer have a phone.

You can restrict down to just whatsapp using google family link ao you have just reinvented the wheel unfortunately. Looks nice though.

You can do all this for free wirh google family link.

Both Spottfy and WhatsApp now have ‘channels’ - strangers’ feeds of utter sh** short films like TikTok/ YouTube shorts - with no option to switch them off! If someone can tell me how to block this now, I’ll be v grateful

I wish you could too. I have all other apps blocked on my child’s phone but let them have WhatsApp. It used to be just messages now it’s all the dross on the channels and he’s spending an hour a day scrolling it.

Same issue here - I would pay good money for a ‘chats only’ version of WhatsApp.

I had just refused Spotify, but she actually needs it for Music GCSE, and I’ve allowed it but I know there’s some really dodgy stuff on the audiobooks section.

I agree, my friend had very tight settings on her son's smart phone and he managed to by pass them. She has no idea how but kids are very techy now.

Also another had the hidden app behind a calculator.

The school my daughter will be going to in September started this from the current year 7s. Another local school has announced that they will be doing this for Year 7s from September. One private, one (faith) state.

My friend works at the grammar school. They debated a smart-phone ban this year and the overwhelming feeling of the teaching staff was to continue allowing smartphones as it facilitated teaching (allowing them to put QR codes up in classes, for example). They didn’t feel they were a problem and that they didn;t see any issues in behaviour etc in their student population.

I purchased the Balance operating system for a Samsung phone and took off the internet. So it is just messaging, phone, maps, Spotify, whatsapp, wallet, and camera. It makes the phone look really boring and aside from playing Spotify and taking pictures occasionally, my kid has nothing to do with her phone. It's not possible to download any social media.