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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

No periods yet - should I worry?

19 replies

Bettysdahlias · 20/03/2025 12:01

My daughter was 14 in November and hasn't started her periods. She is very worried about it, and although I keep reassuring her to be honest it's also worrying me. I started at 13.

What's odd is she started developing early - body hair, hips and the beginning of breast development by the age of ten. But then it all ground to a halt. She has been wearing the same bras since the end of primary school and has seen no change. She was also the tallest in her class all through primary and is now one of the shortest. She hasn't had a growth spurt and is a good 3" shorter than me, with quite small hands and feet. Her dad is tall.

For additional context, she's recently been diagnosed with scoliosis, which we first noticed last summer. The onset of scoliosis in teenage girls almost always coincides with the onset of periods - so much so that the consultant we saw in the Autumn was astonished that she hadn't yet started.

Obviously the scoliosis will have affected her height to an extent, but I can see from her lack of growth in general (legs the same, hands and feet the same) that this isn't the whole reason why she hasn't grown much over the last few years.

The only other thing worth mentioning is that we moved across the country just before she started secondary school and I wonder if such a huge change could have 'paused' her development. It was a happy move that she was very much looking forward to and she's thriving here socially and with schoolwork, so it's not as though it traumatised her.

Any thoughts gratefully received.

OP posts:
MindlessDaydream · 20/03/2025 12:03

No. I started mine at 14, five years later than my mom did.

I think the general advice is to start looking into it if they haven't started by 16

Topseyt123 · 20/03/2025 12:32

Sorry to ask this, but how well does she eat? Is she perhaps underweight? This can affect if/when periods actually start or continue.

My DD had an eating disorder and by late teens her periods still hadn't started properly. Had started briefly, then stopped again for some years when she became very underweight. Once we got her proper mental health treatment and back up to a more acceptable weight they started again and have been regular ever since (she's 22 now).

I'm not being critical, but it is easy to miss these things sometimes. I almost did.

Bettysdahlias · 20/03/2025 13:20

@Topseyt123 I realised after posting this that I should have mentioned weight, as I know it's relevant. She's definitely not underweight, and has always had a big appetite.

OP posts:
notarealgreendress · 20/03/2025 13:23

I'm no expert, but my own experience was that mine didn't start till I was almost 16. I had breast buds in the last year of primary school and body hair around 12, I think. Just the periods were late.

Lyannaa · 20/03/2025 13:27

If she has signs of puberty then the hormones are there and the rest should follow. I was 14 when I started my periods. Dd1 was 17, dd2 was 12 and dd3 was 15. So there can be quite a lot of variation, even within one family.

Misspacorabanne · 20/03/2025 13:33

I was almost 15! Wouldn’t worry yet op!

sparrowflewdown · 20/03/2025 13:35

I was a week off 16. My DDs have both been close to 15.

Mischance · 20/03/2025 13:35

There is a huge variation in this and please tell your Dd not to worry. I have 3 DDs and they all started at very different times.

Let her enjoy the absence of hassle as long as posdible!

Waterlilysunset · 20/03/2025 13:36

Anything under 16 is normal

kiwiblue · 20/03/2025 13:37

I started at 16.5, my mum was 13, so agree with others it can vary a lot within families.

kiwiblue · 20/03/2025 13:38

Should add, I felt very self conscious about it and abnormal at the time but now I'm an adult have met a lot of people who also started around 15/16.

Starlight1984 · 20/03/2025 14:21

I was almost 16 and my mum had just taken me to the doctors to check everything was ok - literally a week or two later I started!

sparrowflewdown · 20/03/2025 15:24

It is a good thing surely? I am pleased my DDs didn't need to navigate their periods at school from such a young age.

Zoraflora · 20/03/2025 15:29

One of my daughters was 15 when she started.

I was told once she was showing signs of development, nothing would be investigated until 16.

Zoraflora · 20/03/2025 15:30

Sorry just to add does your daughter do a lot of exercise?

mathanxiety · 20/03/2025 15:59

You need to take your daughter to an endocrinologist. The general growth delay isn't just a matter of delayed puberty.

Don't delay. You can get a referral from your GP or preferably just go privately.

StressedQueen · 20/03/2025 17:43

I think because of her general growth stopping abruptly, I would check it with a doctor to be certain. The period not starting yet isn't a concern on its own because I have twins and one started at 10 while the other started at 13 so it can vary a lot!! But it can't hurt to check it up.

Bettysdahlias · 21/03/2025 11:32

sparrowflewdown · 20/03/2025 15:24

It is a good thing surely? I am pleased my DDs didn't need to navigate their periods at school from such a young age.

Yes, of course if they're just late it's not a problem. It's if the pattern of puberty starting quite early and then stalling for several years is a sign that she might never start. It happens.

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 21/03/2025 11:37

I was small and petite, and didn't start until I was 15, very nearly 16. Developed in all other ways, just slow to start periods.

Just finishing menopause at 49. Don't wish it on her for any longer than necessary!

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