Page 2 | Smartphone dilemma for child

isthesolution · 2025-03-18T16:30:00+00:00

I have 3 children. The older 2 got iPhones for their 11th birthday with the thought of it being good that they had it for high school. Since then I’ve become increasingly concerned about the negative side effects of phones/social media etc that have come to light over the past handful of years. My youngest will be 11 next birthday and a number of his friends already have phones. I see the benefits for communicating with them and I also don’t want my child to be the only one without one plus he’ll be v upset that he doesn’t get one at the time his siblings did. I’ve looked at ones such as pinwheel and gabb and the reviews suggest they just aren’t quite there yet - buggy and a lot of non supported apps etc. I’m not overly techy. What are other parents doing in terms of age their child gets a phone, monitoring usage etc ? thanks

Leafy2018 · 02/04/2025 13:06

Hattieandcake · 19/03/2025 11:06

I don’t feel pressured and mine won’t be having any social media until age 16. My eldest is in secondary school and has a Nokia brick phone for emergencies.

www.instagram.com/reel/DG_wtWBOKAC/?igsh=MXVtaDBhbTF2Z2lkcw==

I’m high fiving you. Bravo. There has to be change. Giving phones so young is literally robbing them of their childhood.

twindilemma82 · 04/04/2025 00:08

My 13 year old has one and we totally regret it. My 11 year olds won’t be getting smart phones and they don’t even ask. There is a much wider understanding of the problems of smart phones and most in their social group don’t have one. I suggest you resist. Once you give the phone, even with restrictions, it becomes immensely difficult to manage screen time.

CallawayV · 04/04/2025 11:39

twindilemma82 · 04/04/2025 00:08

My 13 year old has one and we totally regret it. My 11 year olds won’t be getting smart phones and they don’t even ask. There is a much wider understanding of the problems of smart phones and most in their social group don’t have one. I suggest you resist. Once you give the phone, even with restrictions, it becomes immensely difficult to manage screen time.

I love that it's not the norm in you child's school and shows great progress already! At my DS's school they are handed back out to the kids with them like sweets at the end of the day, making it hugely upsetting for my son. We delayed and finally opted for the Pinwheel as he is starting to play out more at the park near me with this friends - which I like as they're kicking a ball and not sitting in front of the TV or on games . For me, having the phone is peace of mind that he can get in touch with me and vice versa, but it only has basic messaging on it and his school times table app, so it's not got huge appeal. I can also completely lock it down or limit it from my parent portal, meaning I can ensure he has no screen time, no messages come through, no apps appear, at any time. So I can completely remove his screen time.

However, as he grows we can add on things like a music app etc, so he can download music to listen to on trips etc. and when he's much older - if phones still exist (!) WhatsApp. Honestly, I wish the school was like yours and phones weren't the norm and would welcome a complete ban on smartphones.

twindilemma82 · 04/04/2025 12:32

CallawayV · 04/04/2025 11:39

I love that it's not the norm in you child's school and shows great progress already! At my DS's school they are handed back out to the kids with them like sweets at the end of the day, making it hugely upsetting for my son. We delayed and finally opted for the Pinwheel as he is starting to play out more at the park near me with this friends - which I like as they're kicking a ball and not sitting in front of the TV or on games . For me, having the phone is peace of mind that he can get in touch with me and vice versa, but it only has basic messaging on it and his school times table app, so it's not got huge appeal. I can also completely lock it down or limit it from my parent portal, meaning I can ensure he has no screen time, no messages come through, no apps appear, at any time. So I can completely remove his screen time.

However, as he grows we can add on things like a music app etc, so he can download music to listen to on trips etc. and when he's much older - if phones still exist (!) WhatsApp. Honestly, I wish the school was like yours and phones weren't the norm and would welcome a complete ban on smartphones.

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How old is your son? Mine are still in year 6, so I wonder if things will change in year 7 but I hope not

booksandbakinglover · 04/04/2025 12:37

My son, also 11, has a cheap android Samsung phone and I use the Microsoft family link app to monitor his screen time, set app limits, age restrictions, and track him on the map when he’s at the park or walking home from school. There are lots of features on the app, really good and useful.

(I also banned WhatsApp and have set up an app restriction via family link, which prevents him being able to request me for him to download it again as he was being relentlessly bullied on it).

tonyhawks23 · 04/04/2025 13:09

Catching up with all this,
Does anyone know if you can use Duolingo on dumphones?I guess not?I need a phone that texts and would like Duolingo for him for the bus but no YouTube etc.

Littlebrownfreckle · 04/04/2025 20:18

@tonyhawks23 just get an old iPhone and remove safari and YouTube and the App Store. (Install Duolingo before you delete App Store!)

settings - family - child’s name - screen time - content&privacy restrictions- allowed apps - SAFARI (toggle it off)
you can also delete the App Store so the child can’t download any new apps except the one you have put on there by following this
settings - family - child’s name - screen time - content&privacy restrictions- itunes&app store purchases - installing apps - DONT ALLOW

tonyhawks23 · 04/04/2025 20:42

Oh your amazing thanks so much!