College dropout

[confusedmomofteens]

18 year old son is doing a pre apprenticeship course in motor mechanics & has only 3 months of it left. He does actually want to be a mechanic but feels the course is of no benefit to him. (He will still have to start from scratch if/when he get an apprenticeship but it would be an advantage to have on CV as he does work experience as part of it) Basically he wants to get out and start earning.

he has felt like this for a few months & has been applying for mechanical apprenticeships without any luck.

My OH/his dad is a carpenter & could give him a carpentry apprenticeship in the morning, which our son now says he will do. However, he has worked the last 2 summers with his Dad & said all along while he doesn’t actually mind the work, he doesn’t love it either.

We want him to finish his course to at least have options but he doesn’t want to. We obviously can’t make him at 18. He is not lazy but finds it hard to commit to anything.

should we just ‘let’ him drop out of his course & give him an apprenticeship. Or hope he will finish it if he has no other options.

Personally I actually think Carpentry would be better career for him, but he has always wanted to be a mechanic. So I think he will regret training for 4 years for a job he doesn’t enjoy.

i really feel he will regret this, but how do we get him to stick it out for the sake of 3 months? Or should we just let him make his own decisions/mistakes.

Well if he’s not getting apprenticeships now won’t his chances be worse if he drops out?

I really feel for you though. Our youngest is good at throwing these type of curve balls.

Assuming the pre apprenticeship course isn't 2 years long what else has he been doing since leaving school? That might have a bearing on how likely he is to get the apprenticeship he wants eventually.

He could always do the carpentry apprenticeship whilst continuing to apply for mechanic apprenticeships. If he doesn't do the carpentry apprenticeship and he doesn't finish the pre apprenticeship course what is he planning to do? He can't just do nothing, well he can but he shouldn't.

he is disheartened now because not many mechanics apprenticeships positions being advertised & he has had no luck with any he did apply for. He has decided it’s just not going to happen for him so he is giving up. I’m trying to tell him his chances will increase with he actually has his certificate but he won’t be told.

they definitely keep you on your toes. 🙈 give me a toddler any day.

It would be sheer stupidity to pack it in with 12 weeks to go.

We are in Ireland, so he just completed his leaving cert last year and went straight into his course.

i don’t think he would just leave and do nothing. I ‘think’ he would just take the first job he could get if his dad didn’t give him the apprenticeship. However, I fear if he did that & got used to having money - he would never go back to do any trade.

we have told him we will give him a carpenters apprenticeship in June IF he finishes his course, but he doesn’t see the point in this.

He was never into school - had zero interest in going to college & is not at all studious, but even with a trade, there will still be an element of college so we feel, ultimately he may just put his head down & get on with it.

he will work hard to be fair.

I 💯 agree but can’t seem to get that through to him. 🤦🏼‍♀️ he says he would be better getting on with his carpentry apprenticeship if he is not going to use the mechanic course anyway.

I can see you've tried to talk sense into him can his Dad talk him round?

Yes his dad has tried too but no getting through to him.

The thing is his dad & me actually feel carpentry would actually be the better/easier option but we don’t think it’s what he really wants to do. (He is just sick of having no money) At least if he completed his mechanical course, he would always have it to fall back on.

I wouldn’t give someone an apprenticeship if they had jacked the last one in with twelve weeks to go. Even if they were my son.

I worked in oil and gas and the modern apprenticeship for the mechanical side of things was heavy on mathematics and the bosses made sure the apprentices passed every module before moving on to the next year and would hold back if they didn't make the grade.

He is not doing an apprenticeship at the moment just a pre apprenticeship course to help him get an apprenticeship (Hope that makes sense)

But, yes that’s basically what we are afraid of - if he doesn't like carpentry in a year’s time. He will really struggle getting anyone to take him on for any trade with half finished courses/apprenticeships on his CV.

we are caught between trying to ‘make’ him finish it & letting him make his own decisions as he is technically an adult.

This is it. No matter what trade he does. He is going to have to do an element of study, so he might as well just finish what he has started. He much prefers working hands on. But hates the books. He is quite naturally clever so somehow manages to pass his exams without bothering.

My DD was sort of on a pre-apprenticeship course last year. One of her friends absolutely hated it. He did finish it though and started a different course last September and had secured an apprenticeship. I know you know but he really needs to finish this course. Not many mechanics apprenticeships may be being advertised but literally none of the few will consider him if he bows out now.

Perhaps you could send him this thread?

this is it. Apart from the actual course content, completing it shows that he will commit to whatever he starts.

Showing him the tread is actually a good idea. He thinks we are just trying to ‘boss’ him around.

As he wants his Dad to be his boss then he is going to have to get used to it. Your OH needs to start thinking like he is DS boss and tell him if he completes his course then he can start an apprenticeship with him but if he doesn’t finish the course he will need to look for some thing else.

That’s actually a very valid point. I will be using that the next time he mentions us bossing him 😁

I’m from Ireland 🇮🇪 too. You may have already done this but tell ds to go onto the apprenticeships.ie website and download the directory of employers in your region that are registered to take on apprenticeships in mechanics and send speculative cv and cover letter to all the companies listed he could commute to. Also send copy of his cv to etb coordinater in your region. Employers often contact them to hear of people looking. Tell everyone, gaa, soccer, neighbours, anyone- spread the word that hes Looking and see if anyone can give you contacts. I liked the idea someone posted of, as a last resort take carpentry apprenticeship but keep looking for mechanics. It’s very important that he feels it is his decision as he is forging his own future career. My ds finished leaving cert this year and got carpentry apprenticeship through sending speculative applications to companies from the directory - got 3 offers from contacting about 40. There is a lad who works with him who is a 2nd year but did 8 months sparks before and changed so it’s important they like what they choose. Best of luck I will keep my fingers crossed for him

Here’s the link to the directory:

https://a.storyblok.com/f/83224/x/69dc672848/marchemployers25current-apprenticeship-employers-by-region-04032025.pdf

Apologies I am only seeing your reply now. Thanks for that. He is familiar with the apprenticeship.ie website and has applied for a few local/nearby positions through there but no luck (he is taking his full driving licence test next month so hopefully once he passes that, he can widen his net.

thank you, I will tell him to send speculative CV to the directory above and a copy of his CV to the ETB coordinator.

this is it, we are trying to let him choose his own path (& truthfully, I would prefer him to do carpentry but I honest don’t think he really wants to do it - it’s just a means to an end for him) I suppose he is still quiet young (just turned 18 last month) so it’s not the end of the world if he basically takes a year or two out. Thanks.