Yr11 assaulted at school

[Ksjs3]

Hi all.

My son has had almost a full year of bullying from, in particular, two boys in his year. It started out with name calling, bashing into him walking past and so forth. It then became a bigger issue when they tried to spread a rumour that he was a pdo (thankfully that died off very quickly). It went quieter for a while, the worst of it being being followed around school at lunchtime and having satsumas/paper/pens thrown at him.

A few days ago a friend of the instigators was repeatedly poking and prodding him in lesson so my son reacted. The instigators caught wind, and this resulted in him being pulled off his chair in his classroom by one of the boys in front of the teacher, and being followed and pushed into a metal railing hard enough it made his leg sore. I had a meeting with the head that afternoon (I had refused to leave school grounds until I spoke to someone) and the head assured me she was dealing with it and that there would be no more issues.

Two days later, I find out from another parent that three hours earlier (she called at just before end of day) there had been an attack on my son at lunchtime where he had been thrown to the ground and kicked repeatedly in the back and once in the head. I had had no call from the school and had no idea about it.

My son came home and I immediately checked him for visible injuries and made sure he wasn't dizzy or nauseous. I had a call from the assistant head saying she was really sorry this had happened, and that the two boys had been excluded for three days. I explained I would not be sending my son back onto the school premises and that I would like revision sent home for him to do for his exams because I do not feel he is safe there anymore.

She said she will call again after the weekend and we can discuss the situation going forward. I reiterated I would not be sending him in.

I followed this up with an email to her, the head and the pastoral care teacher, detailing the incident and what myself and the AHead had discussed over the phone.

I was in two minds about whether to contact police as this is assault but my son doesn't want more trouble and just wants it to finish, which it will if he isn't at school anymore.

He's told me he's depressed and that he almost feels relieved that he won't have to deal with that anxiety anymore.

Given the repeated nature and escalation, am I right to refuse to send him in and ask for revision for the last couple of months before study leave? I have had repeated assurance from them that they'll deal with it and that it won't happen again and yet every time it has escalated. Had he been kicked in a different part of his head, he could be dead now instead of sleeping in his bed.

I personally do not think being in school is more important than his mental health and physical safety. This isn't just name calling or a bash on the shoulder going past anymore.

I’d absolutely involve the police that is a very serious assault. Also escalate to involve governors and LA due to complete failure of safeguarding.
What is best for your son? Is he likely to be disciplined enough to study at home without it affecting his exam results? Can the LA put anything in place (online school or attend another setting?)

How awful for your son, and for you as his mum.

I don't see why he should be the one to have to leave though. I can see why you don't want him to go in but he could be missing vital revision to help with his exams.

If it were my son, I think I would go to the police.
This might force the school to be more proactive in separating them too.

I would also go to the police

Why on earth should the students who kicked your son in the head be able to remain in school and take their GCSEs whilst your son is penalised and kept off school in a period before exams that may affect his life chances. I absolutely understand your instinct to remove him from the situation for his own protection but hell would freeze over before the perpetrators got away with a temporary exclusion and that’s it.
If this had happened to him in the street would you even hesitate before calling the police?

Your poor son. I hope he is OK.
The problem as I see it with your plan is that your son will miss revision. I just don't think working at home is sustainable. However if it's a choice between his health and exam grades I would always choose as you are doing. Maybe speak with his careers teacher and look at the college courses he has picked for September. Maybe he could retake his GCSEs next year?
Obviously this should not be happening but it doesn't seem as if his school are willing or able to stop these bullies. I'm not sure why, possibly the school has weak leadership. Some headteachers are scared of suspending or permanently excluding students because the local authority disapprove
This is because there is a lot of support in the educational world and amongst some parents for not punishing children who are out of control. Just look at the Witch hunt against Mossbourne. I often read threads on here from parents who appear to think schools are too strict and that harms children. Unfortunately without strict enforcement of rules bullies are free to harm their peers.
I hope you son can recover quickly.

I would contact the police. It may encourage the school to deal with it better as an outside would be involved.

Gah, I think I differ to others in my opinion here. If your son feels relieved at not having to go in any more and deal with those ar$eh0les, maybe its best to keep him home. If he can study in a relaxed atmosphere and do well in his exams, that might be the best outcome. It sounds unlikely that the school can manage the situation so look at the big picture. Karma will get the other boys.

You absolutely should inform the police. Your DS is not able to make the decision for obvious reasons, so you need to advocate for him. Then you need to meet with SLT at school and ask for a risk assessment to be carried out that will ensure your DSs safety.

Jesus Christ and the government are telling us that kids are safer in school than at home (in the bill they are currently passing through parliament - The Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Bill). This is the 2nd post like this I’ve read in 24 hours on here.

Your poor poor son. I could cry reading this. If that was my son I’d be raising hell.

I also wouldn’t allow him to set foot in that environment ever again and would be pushing for the school to provide work at home. I’m not an expert at all but there is something called EOTAS (education other than than at school) which is funded. Your other option is to home educate and leave that toxic environment behind forever. You could seek out GCSEs online. All the best op.

My son was assaulted at school in year 11 too. The boy was excluded for 3 days and had a return to school meeting with his parents. They laid the expectation of his behaviour coming back to school and I think he spent at least 2 days in isolation on his return.

As this was a one off to my son we had a statement by us, the parents, read out at his return to school meeting which basically said our son is far more forgiving than us and you touch him again and we will definitely go to the police. We did log the original assault (witnessed by a teacher so undeniable) with the police who did say if we changed our minds at any time over that incident we could ask them to pursue it.

Your son should feel safe not just in school but out and about too. Contact the police, you can ask their advice on the situation. I would notify the school that you are doing this too.

The school also checked in with my son every couple of days to make sure nothing else was occurring. Your child shouldn't be the one missing his revision in school. They have a duty of care to safeguard your child. I know your son just wants to drop it but then those arseholes learn it is just a few days missing school rather than the police talking to them about assault.

If it happened in an ordinary street and was done by people you didn't know what would you do? You'd go to the police as it is an assault.

It happening inside a school doesn't make the crime any different. I've never understood how schools think there is some kind of ring fence around assaults that take place inside a school.

You should report this to the police and school Governors.

It's the violent bullies that should be excluded not your son.

Go to the police.

I would inform the police. These thugs need to understand that the violence they carried out has significant consequences. They could seriously injure someone.

I would be keeping him at home AND involving the police. So he doesn’t have to face them / the environment that has let him down so badly again, but these thugs hopefully get a rocket. I would want assurances from school that there is absolute supervision and he is safe from contact or taunting when he goes in to sit his exams.

How awful for your son.

I also think the police need to know

My son was also assaulted at school on a couple of occasions. I didn’t contact the police at the time and in hindsight I wish I had. My son was also afraid things would escalate with the bullies if we contacted the police, but honestly this happened anyway and the school were not good at dealing with it. At least if you contact the police the bullies might learn that they won’t get away with it. I would also encourage your son to speak to someone about what has happened. This is just based on my own experiences as my son did speak to a therapist at the time but even a few years later his mental health is not great, he was quite young when it happened and ADHD so I guess didn’t have the coping strategies. The fact the school didn’t let you know about the assault in the dining hall is concerning. I would put all your concerns in an email and as others have said, include the LA and others involved in the management of the school and let them know that the police will be informed of the assault.