Recent issues

[MHnursingmama]

So i thought my teenager 18, nearly 19 was doing well. He has a lovely girlfriend, does to college and is also working part time. He has friends and an active social life.
A couple of weeks ago he came into my bedroom wearing his girlfriends gillet and asked me what I thought. I said it looks fine but it's a bit tight, of course it does its cut for a girl. He threw a right strop! Apparently I'm always making comments about his clothing and his size and it's hurtful as he doesn't like how he looks and is trying to lose weight.
He normally comes home after work on Sunday, last night he failed to appear and when I messaged him this morning to ask why he said that he's not enjoying home life at the moment, he feels lonely and that things have changed since his brother was born (he's 6 and it's never been an issue previously.
I don't know what to do tbh, I've worked my bum off to try and give him the best life possible and yet he comes now with these complaints
Any advice? For context he has adhd, takes medication which seems to help him. My husband isn't his biological father and they don't have the best relationship and do argue a bit about the state of his bedroom.

Listen to him OP. He's trying to talk to you and you sound a bit defensive, eg phrases like "well it's never been a problem before" and "I worked my bum off for him" - that's not a great way of getting him to open up. It sounds like he's got a lot going on - neurodiversity, a stepdad he doesn't get on with, a much younger sibling who probably gets more of your time and attention, self esteem issues around his weight. Maybe he's also feeling unsure about what to do after college. Try to be supportive and kind rather than annoyed with him. Maybe it would help him to speak to a therapist?

I appreciate i might sound defensive. But honestly he winds me up, he's so disrespectful, I mean how hard is it to pick things up off your floor? Also he refuses to pay me any rent, and generally speaks to me like something he's just picked up off his shoe.
Today I'm wfh and he's making a holy racket despite me asking him very politely not too..
I know I'll have to be open and less defensive but honestly I thought this would be a two way street, yet I'm the one who has to make all the allowances and can't say boo to a goose without him getting upset?