How do your young teens spend their free time?

[Noidea2024]

My eldest is 12 and, given the chance, would spend all his time on his phone. He does go to a sports practice one evening a week, and to scouts, but I'm really struggling to encourage him to use his time in other ways. Similarly, over the holidays, we really struggled, and even he admitted he was bored. Understandably, he no longer wants days at many of the local family attractions, parks or NTs, but I'm not quite sure what to replace these with. He did have a friend over one day, but the social world of his peers seems to be virtual, and while this is fine some of the time, he can't be on devices all the time.

So, what do your young teens to fill their time, and what do you do as a family during the holidays to help occupy them?

TIA

Same issues here 😔 hope someone has some useful advice.

My 12 year old. And 15 year old will still happily come for days out. Not to the park obviously- dd12 will go with her friends though but walks round NT etc or bowling, cinema, walks on the beach, go ape, tubing etc. they both meet up with trims and go into town for McDonalds, to the shops, for bubble tea. Hobby has them out both in the week and at weekends which helps too

I never had to occupy mine (16 now). He just played out with friends all summer/school holidays/after school. At 12 they'd be off on their bikes all day/up the woods, just being adventurous 12 year olds really. I think that's quite rare nowadays though unfortunately.

Local basketball court, bowling, cinema, trampoline park, gym, swimming, golf driving range, climbing walls, ninja warrior - obviously all these except the basketball court cost money.

Mine will also still come to the woods/NT to walk the dog. He will have a friend over at least once a week in school hols and they'll go basketball court/park for a bit then game on Xbox or play table tennis in garden if it's dry!

I have a 12 year old DS and a 14 year old DD. Both are usually glued to their phones. DD also likes watching Netflix teen dramas. DS also does online gaming with friends on the computer.
DD has a busy social life, but DS does not. To ensure he doesn't spend 100% of his time on the phone, we try and drag him out for a walk. There's lots of moaning, but he's OK once he's out (usually).
If we're not going out, I can usually get him to play games. He likes card games. He also still enjoys things like marble run or Gravitrax if we do it with him. DH will play football or badminton with him in the garden.
The problem is, DS will only enjoy these things if we do it with him. If not, he has no motivation to amuse himself in other way than playing on his phone or gaming on the computer. If DH and I are busy doing other stuff we tend to leave him to it.

DD1 is 11, and she'll still do a day out (not sure how much longer) - she will protest because she'd rather sit at home and rot in her pjs but she's OK once we are out.

She's still very excited about her newfound freedom so likes going into town for McDonald's with her friends.

We watch a lot of TV together as a family - Survivor, Traitors - I appreciate that isn't for everyone!

What is NT mentioned above?

Our whole family is screen addicted, so it’s hard to complain about my kids phone time. They do play an instrument and a sport and that gives them a break.

NT is National Yrust properties.

National Trust!

National trust. So grounds of large houses etc.

13yo likes the local climbing wall, getting bubble tea and takes herself off on the bus to visit friends. She’s read about a book a day over half term (on her kindle app, so it is phone time).

She would love to play tennis or have a kick around, but none of her local friends are sporty, so she just does those at the specific training times.

Mine's 19 now and I think at 12 he had stopped coming on days out etc but played a lot of football- trained and played matches a few times a week. He did play on his Xbox a lot with friends but also would meet his friends outside school to play football etc. homework was a pain/ he always had to be nagged. Because he was so active, I never bothered to limit screen time.

Forgot yes he'd be out on his bike a lot too.

My son is 13 (y8). He has a lot of hobbies (drama, rugby, football, music) which helps. He’s recently started getting the bus into town with friends, he will also walk into the village where we live with a friend but most of his school friends don’t live within walking distance. He does love his phone/xbox but we are quite strict on how much time he can go on them. He’ll do a day out and will often enjoy it more than he thought he would. At home when not on screens he will play musical instruments, sometimes build Lego, play board games (if I organise it) and read but only a bedtime.

I tell my 12 year old he has to make plans with friends and go out. Yes it's hard and yes the screens are addictive etc

But. If they are not made to then kids are going to slump on screens as easy option

My son knows he has to go yo the park or swimming...cinema maybe or even just wander about town.

We as parents have to kick them out into the real world !

Mine is 13 and has a sports activity or scouts every day plus x box, VR, YouTube, tv series, dog walking, homework.
he barely uses his phone
he doesn’t see his friends out of school much unless at an organised activity. Chats online sometimes.
He will happily go wherever we suggest currently with younger cousins or our adult friends and likes spending time with us at home
I’ll be gutted when/if he changes!

16 and 18 year old here. Sport, sport and more sport and gym sessions and training for sport. A meal out with their friends or a mooch about town. Elder DC is doing a lot of coursework ATM.

My 13.5 year old boy goes to the bike park with friends - we drop him off, they bike around, get fish n chips and we collect about 3 hours later.

He comes to gym with me 3 times a week for weights, squash and swimming. He goes to sleepover with a friend or a friend comes here. He's in a football team - one training session and one match per week.

He plays the piano and practices 3 times a week if I remind him.

He still likes building Lego cars.

In the evenings we have dinner then watch tv together.

Other than that he's online!

Dd age 14 likes a bike ride with friends, baking, sketching or other art (she’s amazing), looking after her pets, swimming once a week, martial arts twice a week, D of E. Less regularly- bouldering or dry slope skiing. She is starting to volunteer at the local Beavers soon too.

She also regularly spends time just hanging with friends - lots of silliness and occasional horror films!

She tends to listen to music on Alexa while she is drawing and is addicted to YouTube and Netflix. Along with the usual nonsense, She does like psychology/science channels on YouTube and loves anything to do with space. She also loves fantasy property searches on Rightmove.

She is not particularly “girlie” but enjoys a long relaxing bath sometimes!

She still enjoys days out as a family but mainly because of younger sibling which allows her to be childish.

This is a really useful thread. DD 12 spends too much time on her phone so great to get some ideas for alternate activities rather than just focusing on limiting screen time. She does quite a few organised activities and practising music etc but I think there's scope for some independently arranged stuff and a bit more freedom.

My teens will happily glue to net flix, Xbox and phones all day. A lot of their friends are the same. Mind do lots sports which helps but their default is a screen.