How to navigate getting a teen to counselling

[Victoriawould24]

We have some serious concerns about some complex issues my teen stepchild is having to navigate (that are out of our control) and the way they seem to be coping (or not)with it.
We have spoken to quite a few people whose opinion we value to sound it out, and have decided that the most beneficial thing would be for us to try and get SC to open up to a counsellor who is completely independent of the situation to hopefully learn to understand their feelings and develop strategies for communicating to get their needs and feelings met/heard.

I would really appreciate any advice about how we go about this, do we just google counsellors near us and make an appointment?

Would we have an initial appointment without SC to talk about the situation and our concerns (while appreciating that things discussed at future counselling would not be our business) ?

What is the best way to bring this up with SC and get them to go without worrying them further or making them think they have done something wrong?

Is a counsellor different to a therapist?

I am sorry for being a bit vague but any advice or personal experience would be welcome.

We are the resident parents for context and I don’t think trying to do anything via school would work as that would just add a huge element of anxiety and self consciousness that would probably make it impossible.

The GP would be able to signpost to appropriate services. There are some specific to teenagers. Maybe try talking to GP receptionist?

The GP can help but their waiting lists are long and all they did was call DD and speak to her on the phone once and we never heard from them again.

I am doing it privately myself. I did a Google. Did lots of research about how therapists are trained and registered and checked it. Made a shortlist. Read reviews. Read about them to see if they'd be a "fit" for DD. Went to visit one for an initial chat and he was lovely but I knew he wasn't right for DD, he reminded me of an old university professor and his office was depressing. Went to see another lady, she was younger, very much gave the vibe of a caring school teacher or older sister, even the way her office was set up I knew was better for DD and I had initial chat with her about her approach and techniques even things like she'd let them draw or play with a fidget spinner as long as it helps them. DD was 15 when she first went and 17 now. She's found it useful, although truth be told initially there were tears cos she thought going there meant was something was "wrong" with her but we let her take it at her own pace and its been really useful. She also wanted to keep it separate from school/college and any services they provide. Happy to answer any questions.

I also googled counsellors near me for my teen DD. I chose one that said on her website she specialises in children and adolescents. I rang her for a chat and then took DD for a taster session, and stayed with her in that first session. DD made the choice to keep going. I don’t go in with her any more. I don’t ask what they talk about either. It’s just for her.

In terms of approaching the teen, how about 'we were wondering with everything going on whether you might find it helpful to talk to someone independent outside the family and friends? You could use it to keep your thoughts straight and say things without worrying you may upset us.'

Thanks so much for responses @SkyOfficerthe thinking it means something is wrong is a worry but hopefully that will be allayed when counselling starts, you have spurred me on so I will get researching this morning.

This is a great way of putting it - but what if they say no and keep insisting that they're fine?

If you're intending to go private for a child I'd be very careful about who you use. Anyone can call themselves a therapist or a counsellor. Their qualifications can range from an online weekend course to a proper clinical training with years of experience, their own therapy and clinical supervision.

I would use someone registered with the ACP, the NHS uses them too. Here's the link to their website https://childpsychotherapy.org.uk/resources-families/find-child-psychotherapist

Or find someone BACP registered if you can't find an ACP registered person in your area.

@CarrotTopParsnipToethanks so much I will have a look at this list now.

@CarrotTopParsnipToe The only accessible ones for us are online, I’d prefer in person but I will contact a few online anyway I suppose it might be preferable to SD anyway.