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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

17 DD is difficult - need hope - what age does it get better?

34 replies

Flyhigher · 23/02/2025 20:52

15 was pretty bad. 8/10 bad argumentative and rebellious and just nasty.
16 was 6/10 bad.

17 is cold and cutting and contemptuous.

Controlling and mean.

Is 18 any better?

Or am I doomed? And it will just never get any better? Help. Need support. And hope.

OP posts:

letslaughitoff · 23/02/2025 22:42

Flyhigher · 23/02/2025 22:32

She has told me 10 times today that I'm useless and annoying.
When I've driven her to about 5 places. And done her bidding all day.

Show quote history

The stop it just stop.
Next time she wants something tell her to do it herself because your not her maid and you dont have a shoe print on your forehead.
I say it alot on MN and ill say it again put her in her place even if you scare yourself stand your ground.
At 17 they are not kids and not full adults but young adults more of zombies at this point.
The only one thats being annoying is her.
If she threatens shes going to leave and move out show her the door she`ll be back because its a big world out there and not everyone will take the crap from her.
So before someone else puts her in her place do it first.
Deep breath op you got this its your home your rules dont like it dont want to give you respect theres the door help her pack.
It hard but you have to make a stand or be walk over.

Original poster

Flyhigher · 23/02/2025 22:53

RaininSummer · 23/02/2025 22:41

My daughters turned into nice caring humans around 19 I think.

18 months to go. Bloody hell. She breaking me.

That feels a bit hopeful though. Thank you.

OP posts:

MemorableTrenchcoat · 23/02/2025 22:58

Why are you continuing to reward her “bitchy” and abusive behaviour by doing her loads of favours? This isn’t rocket science.

tothelefttotheleft · 23/02/2025 22:59

Addeline · 23/02/2025 22:03

I tell mine. How will they learn if you don’t? They need to know if people have to walk on eggshells round them.

I didn't address behaviour and it was a massive mistake.

LurkyMcLurkinson · 23/02/2025 23:02

You need to implement some boundaries. If she’s not grateful for your help and support and is rude to you instead then stop making life easy for her. She’s not going to be motivated to change her behaviour if there are no consequences.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 23/02/2025 23:12

I'd ignore any request if put rudely. Tell her in advance what you plan to change.

DumpedByText · 23/02/2025 23:17

Why are you still doing stuff for her? If my 17 year DD called me useless I certainly wouldn't be ferrying her round town!

I'd stop doing everything for her, no washing, ironing, treats, lifts and money.

She'll soon realise just how good you are to her!

BruFord · 24/02/2025 01:35

BohoDragon · 23/02/2025 22:20

Same here, 16 year old son is so rude, swears at my, using the C word, swears at his Dad who ignores it, so I'm fighting this battle on my own. He does a lot of sport so I'm forever ferrying him around. He complains if I'm a couple of minutes late picking him up. I told him to learn to get the bus! He is just so entitled. I told him that we had an electrician coming tomorrow at 7:30am so that he would know not to wander out of the shower that time, to which he replied " I don't give a shit" I'm at my wits end. When will this get better? I'm one week on to coming of Sertraline, think I will go back on it!

Bloomin’ heck @BohoDragon , I’d be going on lifts strike if my DS spoke to me like that:. He also plays sport so needs a lot of lifts, but I wouldn’t give lifts to someone who calls me the c word.

My recommendation is to refuse the next lift every time that he swears at you. He’ll miss several practices and will have to explain the reasons to his coach. That might be effective.

mondaytosunday · 24/02/2025 01:38

My son was tricky from 17-19. No coincidence that this was Covid years. At 20 he was much better and now at 21 we have a good time. He's seems to have resolved some deep anger issues, and can control himself better (he did have some therapy).
I remember my stepson, who lived with us full time, basically grunting through his mid teen years. Then at 19 we spoke on the phone and after I felt it was the first proper conversation I'd had with him in years. He's a rather fuddy duddy father in his mid 30s now!

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