Just found a Cali Pen in DS’s room

[Joanne2502]

DS 13 (Year 9) has had a bad year at school so far. In school truanting, some low level disruption and lack of focus. His assessment grades have declined in core subjects.
CAHMS are in the process of assessing for ADHD.
Before half term several children from DS’s school were permanently excluded (including his best friend) for possession of Cali pens.
He has told me he that kids are selling spice and really strong cannabis oil, which many pupils vape in the toilets.
I always try to have open conversations about these things. As DS plays sport for county and is very physically fit, I’ve rather naively never really worried about him vaping/smoking.
However, this evening I have discovered a Cali pen (boxed & used), under his bed.
I don’t know how to approach him about this!
He has said he wants to change schools. I think he knows he has got into the wrong friendships.
He doesn’t go out hanging around outside of school unless playing squash or with family friends.
Any advice appreciated! Thank you!

I think from what you have written, he is asking for help and you need to help him. For my son, I’d probably sit down, say I was worried, say what I’d found, ask why he’d like to move, then offer him the opportunity to look at another school. (Depending where you live/options to move schools etc).
I think he’ll thank you for it.
I might even go so far as to ask “would you like a clean slate?”. I’d probably also talk about how to seek out better friendship groups at a new school, and talk to possible alternative schools about just how quickly a move could be achieved.

If his friends are now permanently excluded could this be a fresh start at his current school? Definitely have a conversation about the cali pen and what’s going on with HIM, not so much about what his friends are/have been doing. Sounds like you’ve a good relationship so keep those conversations going. Good luck!

Are his friends in a new school and do you know which one they've gone to?