16yo parties curfew

[Ellebelle007]

Ds is 16yo (soon to be 17).

He's started going to parties since he left school.

The parties are getting later and later. Sometimes he stays at a friend's, other times we pick him up at maybe 12.30am.

The parties are getting later and recently went on past 1am.

We can't keep staying up to pick him up. We've got younger dc, work, early morning sports fixtures and we're exhausted, but I can't go to sleep either if I don't know he's home safe.

What do you do? Would you just pay for a taxi and go to bed?

Finding this a really difficult age, he's not an adult yet but I don't want to keep forcing him to leave parties early.

coming from a mum with an 19 year old son, LET HIM PARTY!!! You had fun as a kid, honestly!! Best thing he can do is get a job and live his life

I never expected my parents to pick me up at 1am or later i stayed over or didn't go, even as a teenager I cared for my parents and would never have put that on them

If they want to go and do that that’s their responsibility, too many times i tried to control my son and tell him and he didn’t listen. best to have control with you and what you can do

Yep, pay for a taxi. You won't sleep properly till you hear his key in the door but you can be in bed cat napping.

It's a difficult age but he's old enough to start spreading his wings a bit.

I was going to Northern soul all nighters at that age .. definitely wouldn't have wanted to be picked up 😁
The pick up wasn't a thing when I was a teenager anyway.
Different times.

I would carry on picking him up until he is older. It won’t be long until he is an adult and may be at university or working.Things are not great with safety for teens and or people going out until late.

I made some assumptions tbf - I'm assuming these are house parties of school/college friends, fairly local and not in a really sketchy area.
I think a £5 local taxi is reasonable.

I have my phone on 'kids' settings at night. It's silent but accepts calls. They know they can text to say they will be late or staying out and I'll see it when I wake up and check my phone but in an emergency they can call me and it will ring (and I'll go and collect them).

Pay for a taxi and go to bed. You won't sleep properly until he's home, but it's less tiring than going out. Keep your phone on, just incase. Even if they're planning on staying at a friend's place, you might get a 4am call to be collected. And ask them to use the what three words app so you can find them easily. "I'm in X village in the house on a corner with a big wall" isn't too helpful. I found this age of teen really exhausting. Once they turn 18 I found I slept better for some reason. maybe because I didn't feel legally responsible. Maybe a year of exhaustion had caught up on me.

Thank you 😊

I agree this age feels quite exhausting.

There seems to be a real division between those that are doing whatever they want. Fake IDs, going to festivals, and those that are still trying to keep some rules in place but are being told we're too strict.

Most of the parties are very local. Our area isn't the safest but would be absolutely fine in an uber.

I'm hoping that it does get easier once he's 18. You're right though you still feel so responsible for them at 16/17.

Also, if you want to put in a curfew time of midnight, do that. Other parents will silently thank you. Our rule was always if they didn't come home on time they wouldn't go to the next party. We gradually increased the time they were allowed to stay out, from 11.30pm when they'd just turned 16 and worked our way up from there. On week nights we asked them not to work after 10pm, so they'd be home by 10:30 and we'd all get a good nights sleep. Again, when they turned 18 we relaxed, and I'm now regularly woken up in the middle of the night by an adult child thumping up the stairs. And people think having a baby means you don't get a good nights sleep. Try having an older teen and menopause at the same time.
I know I'm ranting know

I think that 1am is ok at weekends halfway through the lower sixth. Put your card details on his Uber app and let him make his own way home - by 1am!

It’s good practice for university. You don’t want his first experience of getting home under his own steam after a few drinks to be in unfamiliar Newcastle or Cardiff or Leeds or wherever he ends up.

We're in a city, and my 16 year old makes his own way home, on buses or walking, sometimes stays with friends, always has to stay in touch, I also have my phone set so he can ring or text me throughout the night and if he's ever in a situation he knows he can get in touch. He has no curfew, and it just means that when nothings going on, he's home early and when there is, he messages, drops his live location and then messages when he's home. It works well, I sleep, and don't resent him for staying out late! Aware that when it comes to my DD (who is currently 13) it may feel different, but they're different kids so maybe she'll not want to go to parties......

When i was 16 in the 90s I was out all night coming out at dawn after warehouse raves and clubs...I would work out a taxi system and let him enjoy himself

Life is long and bring a grown up is tedious. Let him nave his youth !

My 16 year old tends to get an Uber. Normally not that late. Think about 12.30 I go to bed but have my phone on and I just doze until he’s home. Ha better than I was at that age! Though I’d be negotiating night buses etc.