Teenage son not eating

[changedmyname24]

I am concerned about my 16 year old & need some advice please.

He is 6 ft 1, well built but not in any way overweight, plays football 3 times per week & wants to do it at college.

He has stopped eating anything like enough food even if he were not playing sport. Today he has had a sandwich of 2 bread slices, some cucumber, a slice of cheese & a few forkfuls of pasta.

I have tried talking to him from a nutrition point of view & saying that he doesn't have enough fuel in his body to play football. Said that he can't play football if he doesn't eat, we will not take him. He just says ok.

He has gradually reduced his intake over the last few weeks. Has a long distance girlfriend who he says has issues. Wanted to stay with her during half term but we drove him the 3 hours instead & stayed in a hotel. Initially he said this was unfair & far too strict on our behalf (lots of insulting terms used), but seemed to accept it by the time we went. Obviously GCSEs coming up but doesn't seem overly phased by those.

Seems to hate me 80% of the time but happy to accept lifts & money from me. Sees any problem as my fault & my wish.

I am feeling desperately sad that I have lost the little boy who used to love me so much & scared that he is starving himself. I don't know what to do or how to handle this.

Any time that DD has gotten like this the root cause has always been stress/anxiety. Possibly exams or girlfriend related?

I was wondering that but he won't talk about anything, certainly to DH & definitely not to me.

But sounds like it could be within the realms of normal? Not sure if it's different with boys than girls though.

I've had similar with my ds 17,from last September to now he was severely depressed and hardly ate. Yelling at me and just had a look of disgust if I tried to help.
However, he attended college and his pub job,never had a day off so I knew there was hope.
He never had brekfast so I just bought those health bars,pepperamis etc so have in his. Every meal I made,he refused, except fish pie. Was just so upsetting for me.

Its definitely a control thing for my son. I buy some ready meals now as he says he wants to sort his own meals and always have fish fingers in and it seems to be working. I dont ask if he has eaten. Sometimes I hear the cooker go on at 11pm and instead of feeling frustrated,I just think yay,he is eating!