DD16, Boyfriend 18, and grades amonsother things

[MyLordNorfolk]

Her grades have sunk from predicted 7,8s to 3,4s since she started seeing this boy/man.
He turned 18 while she was still 15. 2years and 3 months between them. Been seeing eith other for about 8 months.
Ive told her she needs to ease off seeing him while she's revising for her gcses.

That's caused a massive meltdown. Her big sister says he's groomed her and I should call the police. I feel like that's a bit extreme.

I'm all over the place, she hates me, wants to know why I hate her (i dont, obviously) wants to know why I hate him. I don't, I just don't think much of him. She says i dont have her back. Not sure where that came from, she didn't have an answer when I asked what she meant.

She says she's miserable and depressed so I've arranged for some counselling.

No idea what im doing here. I just want to help her do well and be happy.

Telling them not to see each other is extreme. But say until after exams once or twice a week

I said 'ease off' which meant not every day, just weekends. I didn't say completely, but now I'm tempted after this evening's behaviour

What do you think will happen if you try to ban it? She isn't a little kid anymore who will listen. I am warning as a friend did similar and her daughter left home. Police didn't do much, especially after she hit 17 and she has little contact with her daughter now. Extreme example of course, but trying to be heavy handed won't help here.

Plus, she will probably just not revise out of spite

I also think just weekends is too extreme. Just have a few nights a week where she focuses on revision. It shouldn't be all work no play anyway. Have a conversation about it. Pick your battles.

Do you like this young man? Is their relationship healthy?

I think regardless of the answer actually I would approach the same way, sit down and talk with her about her exams & agree revision schedule, importance of exams etc, and come to an agreement about how she will be spending her time?