Managing no effort

[shelle07]

DS is doing his A’Levels. Grades have dropped. He’s missing deadlines. Whenever we try to talk to him he gets annoyed. It has to be on his terms. School are now on his and our case. We can’t get him to make any effort and he lies to us a lot. He has no interest in trying, his future, or a career. He is just entitled, expects his own way all the time, argues with us non stop even when we ask him to stop, and is really awful to us. For anyone who has been through this phase, would be most grateful for advice. We’ve tried compromises and giving him independence but it doesn’t work. He just wants to be able to do what he wants, when he wants, while doing as little as possible, otherwise he goes into a rage.

Slightly different situation but you're not alone in struggling with how to manage lack of effort at this age.

Ds1 is 17. He's currently putting in very very little effort for his A Levels.

He's always been a coaster. Very intelligent but why make a big effort for an A* (which he was fully capable of) when minimal effort would get him a B? He was the same all the way through school. 5 A's, 5 B's, 2 C's at GCSE, all 1 or 2 grades lower than his teachers thought him capable of.

His current grades are C's and D's in tests and assignments. He does nothing more than attend lectures, no homework or independent study. With the arrogance of youth I believe he thinks it will all work out, he can revise for two days before his exams like he did with his GCSE's and still pull an A or a B out of the bag.

He won't be reasoned with. He won't be told. I strongly suspect 4 x D grades in the summer for his AS levels which will hit him in the face like a brick - because despite me telling him about the extra effort needed at this level, despite his lecturers telling him the same, despite me begging him to acknowledge that you cannot coast through A Levels, he knows better.

So bloody frustrating.