Help! Am I "deeping" it too much

[BeeKind1]

My 14 DD is most upset because her dad and I have have given her a choice of consequences for a spate of recent unacceptable behaviours including being in trouble at school - minor things such as being late for form but still not acceptable and drinking vodka at a sleepover and being hungover the next day. Today there was another incident at school, late the lessons which has been the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak as we have told her she is on thin ice. We have given her the choice of consequences:

• stay home Saturday night instead of going to a girls sleepover
• hand her phone to me for half term

Or

• be grounded for the week

This is my first experience dealing with a teenager and I really want to get it right now so that the choices/behaviours do not escalate. She says I’m taking it all too serious - deeping it - but I feel like I’m just being a parent and not a friend. Would you stick to your guns? Advice needed please.

I think offering a choice is fine, as long as they’re all equally onerous. It’s an illusion of choice really isn’t it. She chose her own punishment so can’t complain.

That was my thinking @tellitonthemountains! I work with Neurodiverse children and so I’m well versed in giving choices, just default for me now I guess.