Year 9

[artdevivre]

Hi all,
My son is 13 years old currently in Year 9*. He is intelligent, sporty and plays instrument but would not study on his own, so let's say he does well, but could do so much better. I wish I could help him by sending him to a private school however we cannot afford it. He sat an exam last year for a private school but because he wouldn't get any financial help it was impossible for us to move him there.
One problem I see is that he rushes through, does homework very last minute, and that looks like is enough for school, but I am afraid that will not work in future. When asking him about school in general he says it's boring and teachers annoying. I guess that is typical teenage behavior but at the same time I wish he was inspired by at least one teacher...
Unfortunately we don't have family around, and because we both work long days he ended up spending too much time alone, resulting in many distractions (phone/video games you name it) as at this age we struggled with after school activities. I was much simpler up to end of primaryschool!
I don't feel is right for him to spend so much time alone after school, so with DH we decided I'll take a break from work and try help DS have a better routine. My plan is to speak with his teachers, ask them for advice as I don't know academically what the best approach is, meet up with other mum's (as we moved to this area not long ago, we don't know them much apart from the occasional birthday parties).
What else would you recommend ? Thanks in advance for your reply 😊
*edited by MNHQ

Have you considered private tutoring? It made a huge difference to one of our kids.

Thanks for your reply Ph3.
Did you get a tutor for a specific subject?
Hope you don't mind me asking, how did you find him/her, how many hours a week did you do, and for how long. What was the approx cost. Thanks 😊

For our eldest we did tutoring for 11+ - he’s very very bright but very very lazy… everything is done in a rush so he can go and play. But the tutoring helped as he doesn’t like to be told off so he worked hard on the homework she set him (but not without Arguments) getting them in a new routine is a huge challenge. We found her through word of mouth other parents. We did 2 hours a week and more as the exams approached. She cha edged £45 an hour.

Thanks Ph3.
Was the tutor helping with all subjects on a weekly basis?

English and maths for 11+. We have him a break in year 6 and 7 (no tutoring) but he reverted to his old habits lol. So he did well in most subjects but you could see he wasn’t being pushed hard enough so back to tutoring he went for the subjects he enjoys and most likely will follow him to GCSEs…. Having said that even though he passed his 11 + we ended putting him in a private school as we it was a better fit for him.

OP I hear you on after school time its hard at this age.

If it was me I would look at more activities rather than too much school work - they sit down a lot at school - in private/ boarding schools they do HOURS of sport/ pe a day - really.

What they are getting in private school is actually a lot more rounded than our sad state education - more drama/ more art/ more sport.

I would use your time with him to help him find more hobbies and activities and get him more engaged like that.

thank you so much for sharing this Ph3

Thanks! I'm glad it worked out well :-)

Absolutely, I agree with you on that, private education is much more balanced.
Thank you so much for your suggestions :-)

I think you are going to spend most of your time alone. Year 9 boys will not want to be spending time with their mums after school. I also think that getting to know other mums will be tricky. There are no means of meeting other parents really. At this age kids organise their own social lives.

I have a Y8 and a Y10 in state school. They are both as you describe your DS and frankly they could hand in any old rubbish and as long as it’s marked as handed in on the school system then the teachers certainly never check the quality. This is now coming back to bite my Y10 as they approach a first set of mocks where she has to buckle down and revise over a longer period and cannot dash it off. There is no easy answer - we do tutor which helps - focussed hours of 1:1 in every week where they have to be doing something. I know there are really mixed feelings on here about the amount but they have an hour each of the following: science, maths, french, English. It is expensive: £40-£60 depending on the tutor but we feel absolutely worthwhile since lovely though the school is they would all be left to coast if we didn’t step in and try and drive some ambition.