DD14 first boyfriend

[ikeepforgetting]

DD is obsessed and head over heels with her first bf, both Y10 and 14. And I mean obsessed, they message non stop and she wants to spend every minute she can with him. I've let him come here a couple of times, but she's pushing for him to be here more, allowed to her room, etc. Really hard to find the balance between keeping things open with her so she doesn't sneak around (which she is prone to do) and trying to get her to slow things down!

I know they are snogging (and I do remember being that age and just how much snogging goes on!) Really worried though about being too permissive with her but at the same time feeling very out of control about the whole thing. Any advice about how to play this? I am going through divorce from her dad so I think she is playing that too, knowing that the house is empty when I go out and that I am generally more open than her dad would be if he was here.

I have a Y10 dd with a boyfriend too.. how long have they been going out?
Initially I would limit visits to the weekends and holidays, then they can focus on school work, friends, sports etc the rest of the time
Ours is 15, bf 14. We do allow them in their rooms but tbf they spend most of the time doing stuff socially, with the family, etc so one other good reason to keep it to weekends is that you can make sure they are kept busy
They will get physical/intimate, that's just something I have come to accept but reduced to a minimum hopefully
Mine were never too obsessive luckily but still intense. Hopefully it will calm down with time...

Only since xmas, so it is all moving quite fast and they seem quite intense! Maybe I just forget what that first boyfriend experience was like, it has been a fair few decades 😉. Good point about limiting visits, I can try to slow it down a bit that way. Trying to be nice and friendly to him too so that maybe he will be less likely to mess about (clutches at straws!)