First time poster here. Now 17 y/old DS went off the rails in year 11. Started vaping with god knows what in it and ended up refusing school. Failed every class. We moved from a village with tons of school and community support to a city 7 years ago (DH job transfer) and I did my very best calling everyone I could in the giant school system here for months until we decided to give him a semester off for therapy. Well he’s become a huge liar, anger issues sometimes and stays in his room. I dropped the ball that year. I had demanding jobs and my dad died 6 months ago after a long illness. I myself have a “mild version of this same illness” and he lived near us so I was deeply distracted. My DH is amazing but not as firm as he should be. The combo has been a source of shame for me. DS is an only child and we are older parents. I’m so tired guys. We start family therapy tomorrow as DH went to therapy for a couple of months but eventually slept thru appointments.or refused to go even though she was close to us. He doesn’t have job, is lazier than anyone I’ve ever seen. Side note: We adopted him at birth after late term miscarriage and infertily. And he has always been popular with his friends and has girlfriend. He’s actually a beautiful person but I wouldn’t wish the task of teaching or parenting him on anyone! He was just fine until that year. My only wish is to get him into a trade program as he’s good with computers. I guess I just need to hear from other parents that I will survive this. He’s 18 in 5 months and then it will only be more out of my control. I can’t even believe family therapy will work as literally nothing does. Forget about going back to highschool that’s out of the cards now. Sorry so long I’ve been saving this all up for two years. Thanks for reading this if you’ve gotten this far.