I was a disgusting, vile teenager to my parents! Refused to go to school. If I was physically taken, I would walk straight out. Refused to be home when they said. I smoked. I drank to the point I could barely walk home. Smoked weed. Screamed that I hated them and wished they were dead. Called them the C word. Self-harmed. Lied about where I was going and who with. Shouted, stomped and slammed doors. Everything they did or said pissed me off. I smashed things in my bedroom. Went to pubs and nightclubs. Moved out at 16 to live with a 28 yo man - I couldn't wait to get away from them. It took a lot to get my Mum to lose her temper, but a few times she hit me and I hit her back. She's freakishly strong though! I blamed them for everything and despised being told what to do. I knew better!!
My main problem was my SD I think. He was so rigid, opinionated and judgemental. He really wound me up. He used to work away occasionally and I used to love it being just me and Mum. We used to have nice chats. He had been there since I was a baby so it's not like I felt he took her away from me.
You'll be pleased to know I did grow out of it! Dad died in 2012, but honestly, Mum and I aren't particularly close. I only see her a couple times a year, and speak on the phone occasionally. But I'm crap at keeping in touch with everyone so its not personal lol.
She says she tried her best, but I still hold onto some blame and resentment towards her for not getting me help as a teenager seeing as I was obviously depressed, self harming, had a rage problem and possibly other undiagnosed issues. But I guess it was the 90's and I was just being "dramatic" and "attention seeking".
I do feel for you. I couldn't cope with a "me". You need to learn to let the insults wash over you and remind yourself that she's just a hormonal teenager who can't really help it. She WILL grow out of it, I promise.
Please remember, if you weren't there, she'd be devastated.