Grumpy and lacking motivation

[Sensitiveelephant]

Daughter has always been a homebody. Never liked going to clubs or hobbies. Just wanted to stay where she felt comfy at home. She loves singing so she is now attending singing lessons and auditioned and got a main part in a local production. However she drags her feet to rehearsals can't be bothered. No enthusiasm.. she comes out happy and singing and loves it but seems to forget that for next rehearsal. She doesn't want to try hard at most things and although she is doing well in school that's because I push her and check that she's doing her work etc.
She can be very grumpy. Using a tone of voice and it's sometimes hard to get a conversation lack of eye contact and short answers etc I feel she lacks motivation and enthusiasm for most things. She's only 12. Is this normal?

Has she always avoided eye contact and struggled with conversation? Do any of these autism traits sound familiar? It's diagnosed later in girls. Autism First Signs and Checklist in Girls | Autism SA

Honestly no. Doesn't sound like her. She just tends to avoid eye contact if it's a tricky conversation or if she simply can't really need bothered with the conversation

Ah that's fair enough! 12 is a tough age with the hormones etc, I'm willing to bet that's playing a part in it, especially if she's coming out smiling. They often lack perspective at that age, so whilst it's easy for us to say that you know she enjoys it and will be happy when she comes out, she lacks the wider vision of that and so the though pattern of 'I'd rather stay home -> this is the thing preventing me to stay home -> I'm going to be grumpy/ I don't want to go' happens. My DD grew out of it but it took a couple of years!

Sounds pretty normal. You’d hope teenagers were more independent and that you could take your foot off the pedal a bit but they need so much input through the teen years. Keep doing what you’re doing, encourage and chivvy and keep the connection, both of you sound fabulous.

Thank you both so much. You put my mind at ease a little.

sounds very like my 12 year old.

I think its teen years starting - so much grumpy/moodiness about everything

also I think school is emotionally/socially very draining although they wouldnt admit it - so they take it out at home.

Sounds normal to me! Grumpy one word answers and the attitude that nothing you say or suggest could POSSIBLY be what she meant/wanted/thought/might ever agree with.

Then they start "borrowing" clothes (usually without asking), even though you have the worst taste in the world, obviously.