Boring teen

[Lellamir]

DS is driving me mad!

I always look forward to weekends and school holidays, and have resented having to be at work for so many of them, since he was 10.
I love his nature, and enjoy his company. I make a point of doing 'stuff' - days out, meals out, the beach etc, because days and weekends off work, are precious. But, I can't currently drive.
He's 15, now, and I'm off work for a while, after surgery. And he is just really getting on my nerves. Constantly showing me stuff on his phone, and talking about stuff I'm just not interested in. Any time I try to watch TV, I have to pause or rewind it, constantly, because I can't concentrate.
I'm starting to resent being told what to think, where to look, what to hear. I just want to have my own thoughts, ffs!
I've explained to him that faking an interest in PS games would be patronising. That, if I was interested in the stuff in his phone, I'd be watching that, rather than Scandinavian detective shows! He keeps telling me to look at the cats doing cute stuff. I KNOW - I've been stuck at home with them for 6 weeks!
I feel so bad, 'rejecting' him, but I just don't care about fictional characters, or even real people I've never met (YouTube idiots).
I don't want his memories of his childhood being me not listening to him. But I don't want to listen to him!
Aaarghhh.

He sounds fab tbh and I’d find him hilarious. Think if he was shouting through to me at 2am I’d not feel guilty about telling him to wait til the morning as you’re trying to sleep but other than that I’d totally embrace it as you’ll miss it when it stops.

Ok I've just read more of your posts

It absolutely isn't normal for him to be sticking lights on at 2am to chat - so is there a big drip feed here about his additional needs?

I think it’s fair enough to have a limit about bothering you at night (1.37am he can absolutely fuck off) but I do think you should try and take some interest in what he’s talking about. My parents used to dismiss my interests in “arty farty stuff” and it made me really sad. It’s like they’ve never cared to know who I actually am.

No additional needs.
We're just a bit out of routine, because I'm not getting up for work, like I usually would be, and he had lots of late nights over the Xmas holidays.
He's never been a good sleeper, though - neither am I.

Of course he won't read this - as I said upthread I'm offloading here, instead of telling him!

He was quite a bit younger, when he went through his Poirot phase, lol.

I do think he's funny, and he's sweet, and as I've said, I look forward to weekends I don't have to work, but we usually do stuff, even if it's just go out for breakfast. Car journeys are his 'official' talking about stuff that matters, time.
I think it's just the being stuck indoors, that's frustrating.

If he is still bothering to try to include you in his world after such rejection he is probably desperate for your approval / attention. You need to be careful, not only could you be risking your future relationship with him but you could well cause him to carry that rejection with him in his inner narrative. That can have lasting consequences.

Menopause, OP? I found I reached the end of my tether a lot sooner than I used to once I hit menopause - the 'take no shit' seemed to apply itself also to my kids! Your DS actually sounds like quite a laugh, but they can get a bit intense at that age- have you tried wearing headphones?

'After such rejection' is a bit of an exaggeration.
I'm rejecting the shouty blokes on YouTube - not him!
He doesn't feel rejected. If that was the case, I wouldn't have made a thread about feeling guilty for being bored by the stuff he wants me to look at.

But, yes, sometimes I want to have my own thoughts. Read. And, God forbid, talk to people other than him. His brother, for instance. He's 30, and lives a 5 hour drive from us, but has already texted me 10x and phoned me once, today. He doesn't feel rejected, either!

We've been watching videos of speeded up vegetable chopping, this morning. I gave him a chopping, slicing thing as a little extra Xmas present, precisely because I knew he was enjoying watching these.