13 yr old dd can't sleep

[sarahjnm]

Having huge problems with insomnia here - 13 yr old girl. Always do the usual tech plugged in downstairs by 9. Teeth / wash and reading before bed - but she can't fall asleep and is so upset / lost my cool a bit this eve - not feeling great about it but two younger kids are asleep and me and my husband work ft - so being woken up at 12.30am wasn't fun. Any tips?

In my personal opinion it’s down to anxiety. The brain goes into a hyper alert, threat detecting mode and consequently it fights sleep. When sleep does happen it’s a light, non refreshing sleep so the person is exhausted in the mornings.
This anxiety is most often as a result of schools being toxic high stress environments. I ended up pulling my daughter out of school, and getting her on anti anxiety supplements from a naturopath although it took about a year for her to start coming down from survival mode.

My dd14 hasn't slept for 2 nights.

Weirdly the last time she was like this was exactly this time last year.

I've told her it's down to a change of routine, going back to school now Christmas is over.

She said it isn't.

Good luck x

I bought some melatonin from Piping Rock - this has turned out to be a godsend to me, my 17 year old and my 13 year old. All of us have struggled with sleep issues - but taking this for a few nights has been a massive help.

I don't know if you can get it prescribed in the UK without going through years of waiting to see a consultant and getting diagnosed with ADHD or similar though. I don't really understand why I can go online and buy it easily from many other countries around the world, but you can't even get a GP to prescribe it here, even for just a few days to try to get sleep back on track.

Do you or her dad have a work employee assistance program? These usually support your family as well and it could benefit your daughter to speak to a counsellor in case it is anxiety keeping her from falling asleep?

Could she be going to bed too early? That can impact your ability to fall asleep. My 13 (literally only just turned 13 a week ago) year old goes to bed between 9 and 9.30pm, is allowed 30 mins of reading etc to wind down and it's sleep time by 10.30pm latest. This definitely helped him a little before I got the melatonin (and he doesn't take it every night).

She doesn't need to be waking you if she can't sleep at her age. Tell her she can grab herself a drink or a snack if hunger is keeping her awake. Tell her to read a book if she can't sleep. Tell her to go downstairs and do quiet housework if she can't sleep (I bet she can stay in bed then!) etc. Ask her what will waking you up do to help? Absolutely nothing.

Check she is doing enough exercise in the day to physically exert herself to be tired enough to sleep.

Good luck! Insomnia sucks

Had a similar issue, tried all the sleep hygiene stuff & recommendations from camhs. Awaiting diagnosis for autism & ADHD. Bought melatonin online both for DD & myself (mine for ME) & it's made a massive difference. Resolved all issues instantly 99% of the time. Now she can pick when she goes to bed where as before she had to go to bed at the exact same time every night or it threw off the routine & insomnia came back. One gummy 30 mins before bed & she's fast asleep!

What about trying audio books?
Has been a god send for my teenager - she was struggling to relax at bedtime but these have really helped her.

My 13 yr old DD goes to bed around 11pm. Certified night owl like me. I would prefer 10/10.30 as I do feel that the late bedtimes do catch up with her but to her credit she will take herself to bed earlier when she is tired.