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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD hates 6th form

3 replies

soupsong · 05/01/2025 20:04

DD is in Year 12 at a private 6th form - she attended the adjoining school and is now lucky enough to have a full scholarship for Performing Arts.

The issue is she has lost all motivation for her course and says she hates being there. She has never been 'academic' but her love of drama kept her driven.
Since September I have struggled to keep her on track and focused - she says she hates being there, hates the school and wants to leave so she can work full time in the hospitality job she does on the side.

Can't lie I am heartbroken, she is a gifted actress who I could see going to drama school, but don't want to force her to do something she no longer wants to do for the sake of a scholarship.
Am really torn between insisting she stays (especially as we would probably have to pay back the fees) and supporting her to moving to FT work/BTEC at local college.

OP posts:
socks1107 · 05/01/2025 21:24

I went through this with my eldest.

I broke it all down. Six weeks to half term, then a rest. Had a girly hour each week in Costa, showered her with enthusiasm.
She stayed. She got it done and went onto uni where she is thriving!
Break the terms down and don't think much past the next week off.
What are her reasons for wanting to leave?
I also showed my dd earning potentials with and without a degree in the area she loves.

I just knew leaving and working in her hospitality job was underselling her ability. She hated me briefly and now thanks me all the time for pushing her as in six months she'll have graduated and should be in a well paid job

soupsong · 05/01/2025 21:53

Thank you.
DD struggled even at GCSE level and only just scraped through. However she excelled at Drama.
What I've learned is that traditional classroom based learning doesn't really suit her but I'm trying desperately to get her to view these 2 years as a means to an end.

I think her head has been turned a bit by a 'large' pay packet over Xmas. She is also a grafter and enjoys being busy.
What she doesnt grasp is that the pay ceiling for basic hospitality work will aways be minimal and her opportunities would be much greater if she hangs on to her A levels.

Will try your approach @socks1107 and encourage DD to break things down into smaller chunks of time

OP posts:
socks1107 · 05/01/2025 22:25

Bizarrely she also sounds like my youngest too!! Really struggled at gcse but did drama at sixth form and is now also at uni in her first year degree.
That being said she loved sixth form and her course. It's really difficult when you see they are unhappy. See if your daughter can break it down mentally even if just to complete another term away from big pay packets and Xmas madness

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