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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Help! My 16 year old son is out of control.

5 replies

Justamumofteenboys · 05/01/2025 08:56

For the last 5 years my son has been difficult but in the last year he has become out of control. He finished schooling just about not passing any GCSE’s. He started missing classes and smoking vapes and weed. I would ground him etc. I believe once he left school and started college things would get better but they didn’t. One month into college he stopped going and in the end got kicked out. For the past two months he has refused to do anything. He goes out and comes home stoned and smelling of weed. Grounding him no longer works as he will just walk out. I don’t give him money. I’ve refused to let him back in the house and a few times I’ve made him sleep in the car. I’ve threatened to kick him out if he leaves the house. This doesn’t work hence why he ends up sleeping in the car or sometimes I refuse to let him back in. Usually only for a few hours. I’ve tried talking with him. I’ve offered to get him help. I’ve asked him what he wants in life. We’ve set goals. I’ve praise him when he’s done something good no matter how small i.e tided his room, applied for a job. I have did my best to listen and support but I am now getting tired of it. Every day he’s getting high. He has lost so much weight. He’s 6ft and 50kg. He won’t see a doctor, he won’t do counselling. I don’t know what to do. It’s destroying our lives.
I also have a 14 year old son. My partner of 8 years moved out as he couldn’t deal with it anymore. His dad is useless. I’ve also beat leukaemia twice first time in 2018 and second time 2023. I know that was a lot for the boys both did have counselling.

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 05/01/2025 09:09

My son went off the rails in a similar way when he was 17.

I took him to a youth drug counselling service and called social services (and occasion, the police) for help. I can honestly say that SS saved us.

Now he's late 20s, been in in FT employment since 18, owns his own home with my fabulous DIL and I'm so proud of them both.

Don't give up, OP. Seek help from wherever you can. It will be worth it.

THATbasicnewyearsresolution2025 · 05/01/2025 09:14

Are you sure its just weed? Weight loss makes me think maybe not

CornishPorsche · 05/01/2025 09:15

https://www.stgilestrust.org.uk/

St Giles are a wonderful charity who support young people like your son. They are all over the UK, so it's worth looking to see if they have an SOS+group near you. Please contact them, they do amazing work.

Home - St Giles

St Giles | We are a charity using expertise and real-life past experiences to empower people who are not getting the help they need.

https://www.stgilestrust.org.uk

candlelightees · 05/01/2025 11:51

Hugs OP. It is more common than people may think.

There is a group on facebook called parenting mental health. Lots of people in similar situations. Not saying it is mental health but even if not. It's helpful to for people in same situation.

ES101417 · 10/02/2025 22:46

Gosh, I could have written your post! Exactly the same here. My son is now 17. It took me a while to realise the vapes weren't just normal vapes - but Spice. Now it's all about the weed. My son has made it his entire personality - there's nothing else. It's so sad. I feel desperate. Have tried social services but not much help. He won't engage with anything as really doesn't care.
My family is being destroyed by his behaviour/actions.
I have MS so the stress is seriously taking its toll.

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