allowance in return for helping out

[neva]

Does anyone link their teen's allowance to helping a bit? Eg keeping their bedroom tidy? Does this work ie to they actually start helping out a bit?

Yes certainly, and cleaning the car, cutting grass, sorting out dishwasher, stripping their beds, vacuuming, removing ipod at the table, unloading shopping...
It is not much to ask in return for free board and lodging, transport, open door to friends and unlimited love (imo)

Hi barbarian. So do you withhold allowance if they don't help out? I have been holding back allowance but my dd still doesn't tidy her room. She is short of money this week and has asked for her allowance. Am I just being stubborn, not giving it to her? Should I just resign myself to the fact that tidiness is not top of her agenda right now? (She is spending most of her time revising)

I ignore the messy room apart from basic rules such as no crockery in there, no food in there and dirty lothes in laundry bags or she washes it herself.

It took about a month but after me not giving her much allowance, as I still gave her part of it as she had "earnt" that part.

We have a rota of basic chores like sweeping floors, wiping round bathroom, washing up and wiping round kitchen. The 3&5 year olds empty the dishwasher, help unload shopping and pick up toys.

She also has to be pleasant to be around, be pleasant at school and do her schoolwork.

x

I would withold it if she did not do anything at all to help. State of their bedrooms is pretty low down my list.
DS is revising too, but has managed to cut grass today and help a bit with dinner. I imagine his bedroom is a tip, but I haven't looked. I suppose I am looking for a bit of co-operation as much as anything.

Chluro, I think you are right that being pleasant is more important than a tidy room. Also, helping out with general household tasks. I might try asking dd to focus on these issues instead, and let go of the room tidying issue.

Thanks.

As a mum whose 2 are now at uni, I'd say save yourself a lot of grief and forget tidy rooms! My two still have pretty messy rooms at uni, and the only difference is, I can't see them too often!

Really, life is to short to make messy rooms an issue. Just shut the doors. Make sure they put their clothes out to be washed or they won't have clean ones. Make a rule- either no food upstairs in bedrooms, or all crockery to be brought out asap. Give them their clean bedding and make them do their beds...and ask them to hoover their rooms now and then.

Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to link allowances to chores. They should be encouraged to help with chores anyway! You don't get an allowance for doing them do you- so why should they! I don't know how old they are, but once mine were old enough to work, they made money by working on weekends and the allowances stopped.

Hls - you are so right imo. Worrying about tidy bedrooms just causes everyone grief all round. I also don't think it's a good idea to link allowances to chores.

I agre with you hls. it is normal for a teenager to have an untidy bedrom. I just leave DD1 18 and DD2 16 to it.

my kids have chores they do every night after school
dd1 - clean the kitchen sides and sweep the floor
ds2 - clean the dining room table - pick up in the living and dining room and hoover.
( its more equal than it sounds)

thats becuase they should

their bedroom is their domain.

they can't have sleepovers if its a shithole.

however ds2 wanted a £5 per months ub scription to a game he likes - and i said sure as long as you wash the pots on top of your usual job.

he agreed.

i dont think there is any hard and fast rule - but i would rather eat my own arse than
a) tidy their room
b) pay them for tidying their room

its THEIRS!