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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Sick of the playstation at all hours

28 replies

Itsallmakingsense · 03/01/2025 23:08

I know it's my fault, I know i should have control of the situation. I know teenagers are mostly night owls and want to stay up and push the boundaries
My son is 14. He likes to play fortnite and fifa with his mates. He has unlimited access to it as it gives him something to do during the winter , after school. During the summer he is out every night with friends on bikes, playing man hunt etc.

But the nights are getting later and later. He will come off when I ask him to but reluctantly.

My main issue is what time his friends are allowed to play on it .

For example right now , none of them have been on with him tonight
Someone has just asked him to go on and play fifa at 11pm. We have all just come up to bed and I also have a younger child who wants to go straight to sleep.
Told him no, now it's all kicked off and we are the worst parents in the world. But we need sleep!!
On a school day we have to be up at 6 and he's saying he's not going to sleep until 1am. 5 hours sleep is not enough. He also keeps me awake as I can hear him talking through the wall.
You see so many tik tok videos saying they can hear their child screeching on the games console at 2am. Why is this allowed to happen?
Because my kids friends parents let them do what the hell they want i have to be the bad guy!!
I've resorted to turning the Internet off

OP posts:
DorothyStorm · 03/01/2025 23:13

well done on not giving in. Firm boundaries are needed. He will learn to ask his friends to play sooner.

He has unlimited access to it as it gives him something to do during the winter
what about his homework?

Comedycook · 03/01/2025 23:17

I have two teens ....their devices be it mobile, gaming stuff, whatever is set to turn off at night. Times got later as they got older which I think is fair. I often read on here of teens who are up all night and going to sleep in the morning and sleeping all day....many of them are not mature enough to control their own screen time use.

Silvertulips · 03/01/2025 23:19

You can get parental controls on there - something like a panda box that sets times for each device so it switches off automatically.

This leaves things like your nest or tv subscriptions still working

stayathomer · 03/01/2025 23:22

Keep on the way you’re going- you’re doing better than I am! Same here- my friends are on, coming up to midnight. End up having a big talk or switching off. Killings all the time!

Newbegg · 04/01/2025 00:01

I have the same problems, over Christmas it's been on all the time, and I'm in bed so, judging by D/C not getting up to 2/3pm I'd say DC up to the early hours. How do you encourage them to try other hobbies, anything I suggest is either boring or doesn't enjoy. Then when asked, what DC wants to do, nothing but play on line with mates. Probably not the correct choice, but I end up leaving D/C to it. Thank goodness we getting back into some sort of routine this weekend with school starting back..... Any one any suggestions on tackling this, without it being a constant battle...

Comedycook · 04/01/2025 00:03

Newbegg · 04/01/2025 00:01

I have the same problems, over Christmas it's been on all the time, and I'm in bed so, judging by D/C not getting up to 2/3pm I'd say DC up to the early hours. How do you encourage them to try other hobbies, anything I suggest is either boring or doesn't enjoy. Then when asked, what DC wants to do, nothing but play on line with mates. Probably not the correct choice, but I end up leaving D/C to it. Thank goodness we getting back into some sort of routine this weekend with school starting back..... Any one any suggestions on tackling this, without it being a constant battle...

How old are they? Are they up all night? I'd be turning off the wifi

Newbegg · 04/01/2025 00:09

I have been saying 1am, DC was still on later than that. Tonight it's 0030 so I'm trying to stay up to make sure it's of. 14 years old.

Newbegg · 04/01/2025 00:12

@Comedycook only issue with turning off WiFi, I have an older D/C 17 & not fair to them. I think you can cut WiFi off on certain appliances. During school days, no mobile in room & everything usually off 1030. But I think that's even late, I have just got into a bad habit with being too soft.....

Comedycook · 04/01/2025 00:14

Newbegg · 04/01/2025 00:12

@Comedycook only issue with turning off WiFi, I have an older D/C 17 & not fair to them. I think you can cut WiFi off on certain appliances. During school days, no mobile in room & everything usually off 1030. But I think that's even late, I have just got into a bad habit with being too soft.....

Yes, our WiFi stays on but the devices turn off...they were not thrilled when we introduced it obviously but are used to it now.

ViciousCurrentBun · 04/01/2025 00:14

I was the same but I knew his friends were on later, it’s fine if your kids say they hate you it’s actually quite healthy as children that won’t speak about how they feel are usually frightened. Carry on being a parent and not a friend.

Children release growth hormone when they sleep, just as an aside.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 04/01/2025 05:36

It's worth having a router automatically shutting off at certain times, or you rehearse the same argument every night. If it's automatic, they argue to start with, then get used to it. Out BT router at the time recognised individual devices.

Original poster
Itsallmakingsense · 04/01/2025 09:04

Honestly it drives me mad. More that he was shocked I wouldn't let him go on it 11pm. Unfortunately I need silence to sleep and his room is next to mine and because they are on the headsets they speak louder than they realise and also scream and screech . After a while it becomes torture to listen to.
Obviously it gives him something to do but why should it be at the expense of the rest of the family.
And it's not because the other parents are being more lenient because it's the school holidays because this happens all the time.
Like I said it's not as much as a problem in summer as he's out all the time- although there is a tendency for them to want to go on then aswell but he's usually knackered
He will be too knackered next week after school as it will hit him like a tonne of bricks going back on such little sleep.
Luckily for him he goes to a school that doesn't actually give homework so I don't have to worry about him not doing that that

OP posts:
CornedBeef451 · 04/01/2025 09:12

DS is 13 and he stops all gaming at 8pm. Reading your post, maybe that's a bit early, but he's compliant so it works for us.

onwardsup4 · 04/01/2025 09:16

Mines not even 12 and thinks he can be on it all hours. School nights I make sure it's off around 9 and weekends if I'm going to my room I have a fan on to block out noise.
I have to take his controller to make sure I know it's off, one night in the holidays I fell asleep and when I got up with toddler at 4 am he was still up on it! So no trust there whatsoever at the moment

Newbegg · 04/01/2025 09:18

@Itsallmakingsense totally in the same predicament, but on speaking with others who have teens, this seems to be the way. It's very annoying when your trying to sleep and you are hearing the noise!! Sometimes I wonder how can that be fun with the amount of shouting going on..... Good luck for next week and if their school work isn't suffering and they are getting to bed at a decent time during the week, then if that's the enjoyment over the weekend or evenings, if their happy then so am I!!! Kind off ( ◠ ‿ ◕ )

Mindymomo · 04/01/2025 09:23

I’m afraid it doesn’t get any easier, we had a rule in our house when DS was younger 10pm cut off weekdays and later at weekends. I said I would unplug router if this wasn’t adhered to. DS is now 28 and plays into the night, but is virtually silent. I remember those arguments clearly and it has damaged our relationship with him, as we saw a side to him that only came out when he didn’t get his own way, he’s moving out soon.

gerbo · 04/01/2025 09:38

I think you're doing the right thing, stick to your guns. They appreciate firm boundaries even though they moan.

We have a son who is 14. He loves his xbox.

He comes off at 9 with the sweetener that he chooses a film to watch with us (in chunks) in the lounge until we all go up at 10/1015.

We are up at 555am for work and need our sleep, and I know they need theirs for their health. He sometimes moans and groans, which is painful, but we give a little on what he can watch (The Godfather was a big hit) and this helps.

Huskytrot · 04/01/2025 10:00

onwardsup4 · 04/01/2025 09:16

Mines not even 12 and thinks he can be on it all hours. School nights I make sure it's off around 9 and weekends if I'm going to my room I have a fan on to block out noise.
I have to take his controller to make sure I know it's off, one night in the holidays I fell asleep and when I got up with toddler at 4 am he was still up on it! So no trust there whatsoever at the moment

Were there consequences for that??

Some of these posts are indicative of additives behaviour. These kids need boundaries.

Have you read The Anxious Generation? If not you should. Gaming and unlimited internet is destroying teenagers mental health.

screens go off at 6/7pm here. With the exception of family TV.

daffodilandtulip · 04/01/2025 10:04

We ended up starting from a point of having all devices removed, for months initially, because we reached the point you described. There was a few months of to-ing and fro-ing where he'd be trusted with them back and it'd all start again, but now approaching 16, he knows that he has to do homework first, he has to spend mealtimes with us and he has to be off by 11. We got a wall planner and agreed on a homework schedule, and he has to show me that's done before he can turn anything on.

(His time on them still irritates me, but if that's how he chooses to socialise 🤷🏼‍♀️)

onwardsup4 · 04/01/2025 10:06

@Huskytrot yes there was consequences I removed the Xbox and he certainly doesn't have unlimited access to the internet.
Devices off at 6/7 pm would mean zero downtime of his choice by the time he gets in eats does homework etc

prkchhgfp · 04/01/2025 10:14

It helps to have firm regular boundaries that are regulate, and enforced. Ours have never been allowed to game on schools nights, we tell them when they go to bed still so they wouldn't be playing until the early hours, and then I'm relatively relaxed if it's a weekend or holiday, especially in the winter. But if it feels like it's been too long I will ask them to come off for a bit after their next game.

We gave them these things in the agreement there would be restrictions.

prkchhgfp · 04/01/2025 10:16

And I'm quite surprised parents are having to resort to physically cutting off wifi to stop their children, has there been so little authority/respect developed that that's the only way it can be achieved??

SnowballSandwich · 04/01/2025 10:18

Lots of sports/exercise before and after school,
no consoles/devices in bedrooms and phones on sleep mode at a reasonable hour.

skyeisthelimit · 04/01/2025 10:23

you are making the right decision by saying no. You are the parent, it’s your house and you make the decisions not the child.

just because the other parents are slack doesn’t mean that you need to give in.

you are doing the best thing by stopping him from gaming all night. If more parents did the same they would be helping their DC .

I’ve seen boys grow into young men who never leave the house, can’t hold down a relationship or a job, all because they’d rather game.

rommymummy · 04/01/2025 11:08

We recently discovered we can block the PlayStation from internet via our Internet app.
If it possible then it saves everything else losing internet