Lonely 17 year old - how to make friends

[boredandwinter]

My daughter is 17 and is very lonely and doesn't really have any friends to hang out with right now.

She has always struggled with friendships and had times where she has friends and times where she doesn't.

Any ideas what she could do to make friends?

We are currently looking for groups for her to join and possibly voluntary work, any other ideas?

As she is not under 16 and not 18 yet I feel she is at a tricky age to find suitable groups etc.

What is she doing education wise? Is she at school or college?

Part time job

My daughter volunteered at a group for disabled riders. She met a few people there.

She is at college and in her last year.

She has tried looking for a part time job but has not been successful so far.

@HollyIvy89 disabled riders as in horse riding?

Was she already doing horse riding?

My daughter is a young leader volunteer for Girlguides. She has a lovely group of similar minded friends through this. School was a different matter though. I suppose I'm saying this as reassurance that she will eventually find her tribe

Start with helping her developing intrinsic self confidence and self worth - train her brain to like and accept herself just as she is and not think she is in any way defective or socially a loser just because she hasn't found her tribe. DS2 was very lonely in his teens and had weak friendships. We spent a few years including into his uni years really working on his self esteem and it meant that when he met new people he felt more at ease.

Is there anything she loves doing - however geeky? It's easier to find your tribe if they all like knitting or playing guitar or coding etc than just hanging out with people your age without that hook of shared interest.

DS found his closest friendships with people who share his interests - performing music and looking at art. He also made some lovely friends through volunteering and although they don't have much in common, they are nice people and he still sees them.

Hi, my daughter is really struggling to make friends too, she is in sixth form but has no friends in or out of school, she finds it difficult to make friends as she is really shy, let me know if anything works for your daughter x

I in Norwich norfolk and would love to be freinds

Would she be able to do some volunteer work in a charity shop? My dd did that for D of E and stayed on afterwards. She met some nice friends through that.

Something structured is good so the socialising happens around the activity. Other suggestions could be bell ringing, choir, women's rugby (it's 17 and up). Sometimes it's good for confidence to spend time with people of different ages especially if peer group friendships have been tricky.

Learning how to fight our own lonliness and meet new people - the first step to finding new friends but has to be seen slightly separately - is a key life skill.

Rather than think for her, the best help she could get would be to really talk through the fact that modern life can be lonely at all ages - that many people get out less and meet fewer people than they would like to. So - she can learn right now how to change her own life.

Sit with her and work through on a piece of paper all the different ways she could meet people - both of her age and more widely just people in general

My daughter is autistic and can be so sad sometimes at not having friends but not quite understand there are steps towards it - ie you ahve to start spending time with new people even if you don't immediately feel good friends with them.

At 17 she could be volunteering locally - food bank? food kitchen or community cafe? (in my town we have a few of these) - she needs to think is she trying to meet other 17 year olds or just get out and build her confidence more.

I am an outgoing person and still find life lonely as an adult sometimes, it is really something we have to work at.

Ultimately - if she wants to make friends she has to be brave and put herself out there. If she has special interests - even tv shows etc, she could try to find other young people with similar interests via local fbook / social media?