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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

13yo is watching P*rn

39 replies

lovefromplum · 02/01/2025 15:15

I have a son who is 13yo. A few months ago, while he was showing me something on his phone, he accidentally opened his twitter/X account (which he is not allowed to have btw) and it featured actual pornography! I didn't even think that was a thing but anyway.

I stayed calm but told him that this kind of content is not for children his age. We discussed that it is natural to be curious about sex but that porn is not an appropriate place to explore those curiosities. We spoke about how addictive it can be and that most porn is explotitive and degrading to women.

He looked embarrassed but seemed to understand. I made him uninstall the app and thought that was the end of it.
But recently I saw him viewing pornography stills that were sent to him by a friend and later discovered he was back on twitter/X viewing porn AGAIN!

I honestly don't know what to do. Is this just part of being a teenage in 2025 or should I be trying harder to stop him being able to access this? Did I handle it badly the first time? Any helpful advice or insight welcome.

OP posts:
IdylicDay · 04/01/2025 16:55

Gem359 · 04/01/2025 15:58

You partner is a fool then. Your child didn't come to you did he? You accidentally saw it pop up. Then you told him he couldn't go on X and to uninstall it he went on again anyway. Why do you think he's going to come to you if he sees something harmful? - and if porn isn't harmful at 13 then I don't know what is. The chances are he's just going to think he can handle it himself, as he has with the porn.

These are just excuses of poor parenting used by people who can't bear to take their child's phone away.

Show quote history

👏👏👏

oakleaffy · 04/01/2025 17:00

@lovefromplum A friend years ago had a parcel arrive with a strange name on.

She asked around the neighbours, to no avail.

A neighbour suggested opening it for a return address.

It was porn 📀 DVD’s

Tuned out her son had been persuaded to use their address ( they didn’t own a DVD player) by an older teen who had bought the DVD’s

Except friend has destroyed them on advice of neighbour.

Teen boys do seem very porn driven - It was a great shock to her and embarrassing for her son.

No more arrived, but doubtless they accessed it somehow .

OldJohn · 04/01/2025 17:02

It is not new for teenage boys to look at porn. I remember when I was 13 or so a boy at school brought in a few of his dad's porn magazines and we all studied them with great interest. That was 64 years ago.

I occasionally bought a magazine of that type in my late teens, once I could reach the top shelf. I stopped when I discovered real girls; as a real person is so much better than any picture.

oakleaffy · 04/01/2025 17:10

OldJohn · 04/01/2025 17:02

It is not new for teenage boys to look at porn. I remember when I was 13 or so a boy at school brought in a few of his dad's porn magazines and we all studied them with great interest. That was 64 years ago.

I occasionally bought a magazine of that type in my late teens, once I could reach the top shelf. I stopped when I discovered real girls; as a real person is so much better than any picture.

Boys at school used to find magazines- but they were pretty mild.
Mags used to be dumped in car park bins - a bloke probably bought them for a quick look before heading home to his wife.

jannier · 04/01/2025 19:18

OldJohn · 04/01/2025 17:02

It is not new for teenage boys to look at porn. I remember when I was 13 or so a boy at school brought in a few of his dad's porn magazines and we all studied them with great interest. That was 64 years ago.

I occasionally bought a magazine of that type in my late teens, once I could reach the top shelf. I stopped when I discovered real girls; as a real person is so much better than any picture.

The type of porn that now pops up on social media unsolicited if you put in a profile for a 13 year old boy on a clean phone is horrific and much worse than the top shelf 64 years ago. Then you get the misogynistic threads too encouraging violence. Plus the self harming and suicide ones.

moonmaker93 · 04/01/2025 19:24

Twitter/X allows you to block that form of content in its settings. Could you compromise with him that he can have Twitter/X but ONLY IF you are able to have his login details (without him later updating them!) and change the settings in this way. If not, he has to switch to a phone without Internet access? It looks like you've already explained that it's nothing to be ashamed of and it's normal to be curious, but I would emphasise that there can be some really dangerous/non-consensual/harmful content on these sites, and so you're doing this to protect him.

Pinkbonbon · 04/01/2025 19:26

I saw a really interesting video just recently about a young man who became addicted to porn in his youth and how it basically sucked all the joy from his life. I'll link if I can find it.

Pinkbonbon · 04/01/2025 19:30

Found it.
I'd have him watch this

oakleaffy · 05/01/2025 02:52

jannier · 04/01/2025 19:18

The type of porn that now pops up on social media unsolicited if you put in a profile for a 13 year old boy on a clean phone is horrific and much worse than the top shelf 64 years ago. Then you get the misogynistic threads too encouraging violence. Plus the self harming and suicide ones.

Show quote history

I’ve never ( thankfully) had porn pop up on my phone or laptop- maybe be they deliberately target specific age groups?

However , I do pay for an AdGuard that prevents pop ups, as HAVE been on PC’s belonging to other people in the past that have had porn pop ups that appeared horribly loud and unpleasant and made me recoil from the screen.

This put me off getting my own devices , but I haven’t had it happen since having own ones .

Those topics sound awful.

oakleaffy · 05/01/2025 02:54

Pinkbonbon · 04/01/2025 19:30

Found it.
I'd have him watch this

What is shocking, he was introduced to hard core porn by his older SISTER!

HPandthelastwish · 05/01/2025 08:12

Not porn but I started a new twitter account and without searching anything got horrifically violent videos or people being beaten up and stabbed.

Original poster
lovefromplum · 07/01/2025 13:33

Pinkbonbon · 04/01/2025 19:30

Found it.
I'd have him watch this

Thank you so much!

OP posts:
FlowersOfSulphur · 07/01/2025 14:42

jannier · 04/01/2025 15:44

The recent Chanel 5 programme should show you exactly how quickly a 13 year old is exposed to extreme porn, self harm, abuse, mysogony etc by just going on these apps not even needing to search for it.

Which Channel 5 programme is this please? Was it Swiped, or a different programme?

LoafofSellotape · 09/01/2025 17:31

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 02/01/2025 15:24

You could make him watch a documentary about the porn industry with you. A teachable moment he'll never forget.

Yep, I did that with my ds, didn't watch anything but we sat down and it went into minute detail about it. Poor boy was green by the end of my lecture 😂

He's 13, does he have his phone over night? Why haven't yo got restricted access? Come on OP!

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