Anyone who quit work when kids were teens?

ReadingTeaLeaves · 2024-12-30T01:54:07+00:00

Am contemplating this for a variety of reasons after working full time until now (including when kids very young). Anyone else done this? If so, what were your motivations for doing so? Did it work out? Were you able to work again later?

Lionsmania · 30/12/2024 02:57

I did. One DD who benefited from me being around for all of the secondary years. She is now at Uni. We have a great relationship and I do put that down to just being there during the tricky teenage years. Family circumstances meant we could afford for me not to work after years of long hours and a stressful tole - and the house was a more pleasant place with one parent being available- both emotionally and physically instead of rushing everywhere all of the time. Also coincided with getting a dog which also helped change the family dynamic.

My previous career success has meant that yes, I can go back. I may do so in the new year.

wandawaves · 30/12/2024 03:06

No but I started working from home. Being around has literally saved one of my kids' lives (mental health issues).
I mean I think it would be best to stay employed, whether you can WFH, or work part-time, but if you can't, and if not working is financially viable, then yes I would recommend.

Silvertulips · 30/12/2024 03:20

Teens are expensive!

If you have the funds do it, but it may be more difficult to find work later on, maybe do a few days a week as a compromise? Short days or even term time.

CreepySquareBrackets · 30/12/2024 03:22

I've gone back to study at University, which has meant that I've been there for all 3 dc transition to senior school. It's been great as I think they need you more at this age, and I'm off at the same time for the holidays, whilst they need some adult supervision, they're too old for wrap around care, or holiday clubs.

Its a tricky time and I'm glad I'm here for them.

NOTANUM · 30/12/2024 03:33

Be mindful of the reason you are doing it. Is it to support the kids with a specific phase like a diagnosis or is it aligned to a particular phase in your own life, e.g. menopause or a challenging time at work?

Teens are not very grateful so if it is something that is driven by your own needs, I think it’s more successful than a break to support them alone. Depending on your style, it might actually pressure them more - I knew a man who took time out to coach his child through GCSEs which is too much pressure on a child.

Also think whether you can go back when DCs leave or what you’d do instead (charity, new career). The empty nest is most real for those who are SAHP.

CreepySquareBrackets · 30/12/2024 10:09

NOTANUM · 30/12/2024 03:33

Be mindful of the reason you are doing it. Is it to support the kids with a specific phase like a diagnosis or is it aligned to a particular phase in your own life, e.g. menopause or a challenging time at work?

Teens are not very grateful so if it is something that is driven by your own needs, I think it’s more successful than a break to support them alone. Depending on your style, it might actually pressure them more - I knew a man who took time out to coach his child through GCSEs which is too much pressure on a child.

Also think whether you can go back when DCs leave or what you’d do instead (charity, new career). The empty nest is most real for those who are SAHP.

Oh this is 100% true.

As I mentioned above I'm a mature student, changing careers, but the degree is giving me mental stimulation and a sense of identity outside the home.

It's also positive role modeling for the kids to see me studying along side them!

LetThereBeLove · 30/12/2024 10:18

As a teenager I really missed having a mum at home whereas I never truly felt her absence working full time when younger; so I had it in mind to give up full time work myself when DDs reached similar age.
However, when DD1 was 12 and DD2 was 8, I was made redundant working in a field then that thought you were unemployable once past 40.
Luckily DH (now ex) could take up the slack for my loss of earnings and I took a journalism course and worked from home as a freelancer for 10 years. It worked out the best for us all.

Original poster

ReadingTeaLeaves · 03/01/2025 01:31

Lots of helpful thoughts here, thank you.

OP posts:

HPandthelastwish · 03/01/2025 01:58

I didn't quit but I changed to a really flexible FT WFH role from a term time only school based role. It means I'm always around for a chat, can act as taxi to DD during the working day in school holidays as I just log the hours I actually work. She's autistic so if she's having a tricky morning I can take her in later or pick her up if she's dysregulated and take her back later if she settles.
I can do my work hours anytime between 7am and 7pm so I'm the holidays often start early whilst DD is sleeping and take a Flexi or annual leave in the afternoon to do things together.

Travelban · 10/01/2025 08:31

How old are your teens? It's certainly very helpful to be around, especially in the holidays. I have 2 at uni and 2 still at school and they do still need you around.

However, I am pleased I have the job in the day when they are all out as it would feel very odd to be sat at home on my own!!!