Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

NYE hangout and sleepover

13 replies

ChristmasLightsLover · 27/12/2024 21:32

DS is 16. He wants to have ten friends over for NYE. We will be here. How do we do this?

All are lower sixth, and other parents have hosted them all together for sleepovers before.

They are quite nerdy. They made homemade pasta and sauce at one other sleepover. And a singalong at another. But now they are talking about drinking. Well, starting to...

We're neurodiverse, as is our son, and most of his mates. Want to "get it right" but am not sure what it looks like! Don't want to go over the top but also want to be welcoming.

No spirits. No drugs. I know that much!
We will provide chicken burgers, fries and pizza. And lots of cola, lemonade etc.
How many beers do we buy?

Are we ok to ask that they all bring a sleeping bag and pillow? I don't want to come up with ten duvets and covers, and wash everything after one night of use!

Thank you in advance for your wise words, and whatever you have learnt through experience!

OP posts:
SLRUS · 28/12/2024 01:36

Sorry OP, I would be absolutely furious if you offered my son beer and he definitely wouldn't be staying over again. Just because they mention it, doesn't mean you should provide it.

Bbq1 · 28/12/2024 01:52

They are 16, potentially some are only 15. They are also mostly nd. You definitely should not be providing alcohol. You tell your son no alcohol and he's to pass that onto his friends. You tell him any alcohol discovered on the night will be confiscated by you and if anybody is drunk they will be taken home.

ThatGreenNewt · 28/12/2024 10:41

Bbq1 · 28/12/2024 01:52

They are 16, potentially some are only 15. They are also mostly nd. You definitely should not be providing alcohol. You tell your son no alcohol and he's to pass that onto his friends. You tell him any alcohol discovered on the night will be confiscated by you and if anybody is drunk they will be taken home.

Year 12 do some may be 17, definitely not 15. I’d speak to the parents and if they are ok with it then I don’t see an issue with 2 or 3 beers each. We do have a rule that if one lot of parents say no then it’s no to any alcohol, I wouldn’t tell the teens which parents said no.

I know people have different views on alcohol and I’m not sure what is right but we’ve gone with trying to establish a positive relationship with it and not as something forbidden that once they hit 18 they can go out and consume to excess and put themselves in potentially vulnerable positions or worse sneak down the park to drink before they’re 18.

and yes to asking them to bring a sleeping bag that’s quite normal

Bbq1 · 28/12/2024 13:02

We are non drinkers as is ds, 19 he's never been interested. He see's the messes friends get in after over doing it. We never told him not to drink, we said it was and is entirely his choice but he just never has. He's had the opportunity at parties, nights out with friends etc. I'm glad as it's such a minefield for young people out there, at least being sober is one less worry. It seems a given in some circles that 16 and 17 year olds are not only expected to drink but encouraged.

Original poster
ChristmasLightsLover · 28/12/2024 13:54

Thank you for the replies. Everyone is lower sixth so all are 16 at a minimum. Some of them are 17.

In agreement with the other parents, we did two beers each after prom in the summer. But I don't know or have contact details for the other parents this time around. And they've never asked for mine since Sept. We will swerve the beer stuff to avoid issues.

Good to know re sleeping bags. Thank you.

OP posts:
TMIteen · 28/12/2024 15:53

Get a selection of beers and fruity ciders in. Fine to ask them to being sleeping bag and pillow each. I have kids the same age. They’ll have a ball. Good luck.

waterrat · 29/12/2024 11:44

oh please 'furious' at being offered beer at 16

I was drinking cider in parks at 13/14 - by sixth form I was out clubbing/ in pubs.

waterrat · 29/12/2024 11:45

totally normal re bringing sleeping bags.

btw they sound like lovely kids!

SO much safer them having some beer at your house than sneaking vodka to a park etc

Original poster
ChristmasLightsLover · 31/12/2024 20:44

Thank you for the replies. They got organised, three of them collected a huge amount of Chinese takeaway and they are now laughing at how hard it is to actually hit a dartboard with a dart!

None of them want beer or cider. And several have brought Tupperware with their best chocolate brownies for taste testing later.

Many have brought sleeping bags. And the others are sending texts asking to be allowed to stay over, sending photos of spare mattresses to parents to show they aren't "just sleep by on the floor"...

Appreciate it is early and could still go south ;)

OP posts:
titchy · 31/12/2024 20:48

Bless them they sound fabulous!

RainyDayCoffee · 31/12/2024 21:04

Awww..hope they have a fab time!!!

Original poster
ChristmasLightsLover · 01/01/2025 22:03

Just to bring this to a conclusion. They did drink, but mostly wanted more food! We did a round of pizzas at 11pm. And they ate all the leftover Christmas chocolates and snacks.

They played poker. They went to bed at 1.30am. And all were gone by 11.30am today! I'd call that a good outcome.

OP posts:
nailslikeknives · 01/01/2025 22:26

Sounds like a great night for them and well handled by you! What a lovely bunch of kids!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page