How does your teen contribute to household

[butshesatschool]

I have 2 DDs 18 and 16 both at school. DD1 is doing 4 a levels, a sport at an elite level, plays an instrument (in school orchestras / bands) and a p/t job. These are all her choices and no pressure from me or DH. She's spending more time out of the house as you would expect and as she should be at her age and I'm keen she has time to socialise etc.

However I feel a bit like she's treating home like a hotel. She comes and goes as she pleases (has got better at telling us where she's going/ coming back etc for meals) but I'm trying to work out what's reasonable in terms of chores as I'm feeling a bit resentful. Me and DH both work f/t in demanding jobs and I feel she should be eg helping with dishwasher and laundry, occasional cooking etc.

DD2 helps a bit but neither DD does a lot and they both have mock exams in January and GCSEs and a levels in the summer. I expect less from DD2 as she's younger but she's around at home so probably does more. What do your DC do and what is reasonable to expect? Thanks for reading!

I think the minimum is doing own laundry from age about 14. Stripping bed, sorting the dirty clothes, emptying pockets, putting the wash on, taking it out, getting it dry. And ironed. And then remaking bed. All of it. Mine have theirnown times lot time slot when the machines will be free, and anything else is open to negotiation.

This at least is a regular job that will need doing CONSTANTLY, that hives them ownership and privacy. It always needs doing no matter how busy we choose to make our lives.

Tidying their own rooms and hoovering them and cleaning (OK this is rare) is surely basic too.

With school, studying, pt job and socialising I don't put too much pressure on ds, but if he is in and asked to do something he will without any fuss - take out bins, dishwasher, run vacuum around, gather up towels and put in wash etc. He was driving at 17 and would pop to supermarket if I needed anything, pick-up/drop-off parcels or give me a lift etc.

He was completely responsible for his own room, laundry, bedding from around age 14/15.

My 13YO tidies up after himself (e.g if he makes food will tidy as he goes, puts coat and shoes away) puts his own washing away, keeps his room clean (hoover, dust, empty bins etc), when we eat he sometimes will help cook, set table and clear away always together. He doesn't have set jobs round the house as if everyone is tidying up after themselves it doesn't get too messy. I'll ask him to do odd jobs as and when, recycling, hoover or run an errand.

I’m a single parent so I’ve had to teach my kids to be self sufficient sometimes.

My youngest is 18 and since about 15 he has done a lot of his own laundry, cooked himself meals if I’m not at home or if he comes home at a non-meal time and cleans his room (tidy, vacuum and empties bin) . He brings plates and glasses from his room every 2-3 days and loads them in the dishwasher. If he gets home before me on bin day then he’ll roll the wheelie bins back.

He’s happy to take in deliveries too which is helpful.

My DC did nothing at that stage
I was happy for them to focus on schoolwork and extra curriculars