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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD17 ...Reading music festival

52 replies

MonkeyTennis34 · 16/12/2024 08:37

DD really wants to go to this next August when she will have just turned 17.

A big group of her friends, all 17 too, will be going.

She's going pay for the ticket herself with money from her Saturday job.

16 year olds and above are allowed unaccompanied.

I keep running different horrendous scenarios through my head.....

Need some advice. Should I let her go?

OP posts:
skippy67 · 16/12/2024 08:38

Yes you should. Your anxiety should be your issue, not hers.

rookiemere · 16/12/2024 08:41

If she is old enough to organise and pay for it herself then it's not so much a case of letting her go as actively stopping her. Please don't.

Janus · 16/12/2024 08:45

My (by then) 17 year old wants to go too and I feel nervous about that too! She will be going with a group of friends which I think is a good thing as there will be quite a few of them to all look out for eachother. I will be giving some proper in depth talks about drugs with her and not getting blind drunk. She has gone to quite a few parties now and has never been wasted but I think advice on having your wits about you is all you can emphasise really.

FrenchandSaunders · 16/12/2024 08:48

One of mine went at 17 and I was worried but there’s lots of security and volunteers. If she’s with a good group of friends who look out for each other she should be fine.

…. she came home in one piece but I found out later she had spent a while in the first aid tent … drinking lots of booze in hot weather with no water isn’t really a good idea.

Jerkaround · 16/12/2024 08:48

I went at 17. I saw nirvana, Inspiral carpets etc, it was epic.
Talk to her about how to look after herself and her friends, where the safe spaces are and how to safely explore drugs and alcohol if that’s what she’s into.
no lectures, no forcing information. It’s a rite of passage to go away with your friends after school. If she hasn’t already, get her to watch the film ‘how to have sex’. Is a great film with a story about consent.

BeyondMyWits · 16/12/2024 08:49

Mine went at 17, they had the time of their life - until the Sunday night, when all the idiots come out to play, jumping on tents etc - they felt a bit frightened so we picked them up early. It took some of the shine off the "weekend", but they still talk about the great time they had.

Dash0Cal · 16/12/2024 08:51

My kids both went at 16. Bit of a rite of passage.

There are lots of threads on here about how to manage the risks. Going in a big group is good, and they all need to understand about sticking together. Specific danger of excess drinking or drugs at festivals. Best areas for camping and what to take etc.

I would always recommend leaving on the Sunday evening as it’s a lot tougher on Sunday night.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 16/12/2024 08:53

It's a rite of passage, my advice, don't stay Sunday night. It gets interesting.

lillylallylu · 16/12/2024 08:54

my friends daughter went at 16.
My friend woke up to a photo (sent by another girl in the group) at 6am of her in the medical tent, on a drip, having taken something dodgy.
She wishes she'd said no.
(many 16 year olds let loose at a festival will be responsible and have safe fun, but if they get into trouble, the medical team at Reading are brilliant and on hand constantly)

WoahThreeAces · 16/12/2024 08:57

My son went for a day last year and said there is no way he would ever camp there! He is very risk averse though 😂

Violetparis · 16/12/2024 09:00

I think it's a normal activity for 16/17 year olds but not easy for parents. I found the years when my DD started to do more adult things like festivals, parties and clubbing the hardest part of parenting. As a loving Mum you are bound to worry but you have to let her go to these things as it's part of learning and gaining experience in the adult world. I worried too and hated it when my DD first went to a festival, she had a great time and got back safe and sound. It does get easier to let them go but I've realised as a parent (DD now 20 at Uni) you will always worry about them. I've found parenting a young adult difficult because of the worry but she is oblivious to this (as she should be) but it's part and parcel of being a caring, loving mum.

ItsReallyOnlyMe · 16/12/2024 09:01

That's a very typical age to go to Reading or Leeds festival. You have to let her go (a few calm pep talks beforehand though). You won't sleep until she comes back but that's part of being the parent of a teenager.

My DD is now 27 and still says the weekend at Reading when she was 17 was the best weekend of her life!

theeyeofdoe · 16/12/2024 09:03

I’d always said to mine that they couldn’t go until they were 18 (when hopefully they wouldn’t want to!) DD is probably the only one now who would ask, but because it’s been discussed well in advance, I doubt she’ll ask.

one of my friend’s daughters got raped there a few years ago and another has their tent ripped open in the middle of the night by a group of lads.

Haggisfish3 · 16/12/2024 09:05

I took dd 14 for the day last year. The safety measures now in place are incredible. So much better than when I went in the nineties. There are volunteers and staff everywhere looking out for people. If you need help there is plenty. Crowds are managed really well-we were at front of Lana del ray but I never felt unsafe. Security actively looking for people who are struggling in crowd and well rehearsed methods of safely removing them and looking after them. Honestly, she’ll be fine.

Manchesterbythesea · 16/12/2024 09:07

Of course she should go! Have a good chat with her about being safe and staying with her friends.

Fiveofthem · 16/12/2024 09:09

No, I didn’t let mine go at that age and by the time they were 18 they didn’t want to go. It’s not compulsory.

Flopsy145 · 16/12/2024 09:14

I went to this festival when I was 17 (had turned 17 two weeks prior) and it was fine! My mum did pick me up on Saturday to bring me home for a shower (at my request) 😂

Stillherestillpraying · 16/12/2024 09:21

First post nailed it.
she sounds mature and sensible. Do you think she will miraculously be safer when her passport states 18 and not 17?

Cynic17 · 16/12/2024 09:24

Of course you should let her go, OP - she's 17. And you have several months to learn to manage your own responses appropriately.

SnapdragonToadflax · 16/12/2024 09:31

I went when I was 16 (admittedly back in the mid-90s) and it was fine. Going in a big group is a good idea, there'll always be someone to hang out with. Make sure she understands to stay with someone else, don't go off to some random guy's tent, don't drink or take anything anyone else gives you, and assure her you'll pick her up if she calls. Sunday night can be very rough - don't camp near the toilets.

Honestly Reading/Leeds are designed for late teens, I last went when I was 21 and decided I was too old for it 😂

Original poster
MonkeyTennis34 · 16/12/2024 12:34

Thanks to all the positive, helpful replies.

My only experience of music festivals is Glastonbury in the early 90s. I think there was a shooting at one of them so knowing that security measures are a lot more present is helpful,

OP posts:
Edenmum2 · 16/12/2024 12:46

I went at this age and it was fine. Honestly 90% of the people there will be 16-17 year olds. If she's got a good group of friends to go with she'll be fine.

Dontwearmysocks · 16/12/2024 12:48

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 16/12/2024 08:53

It's a rite of passage, my advice, don't stay Sunday night. It gets interesting.

100% - they get stupid on the Sunday night. Load of 16/17 year olds at their likely first festival and regularly trashing/burning of tents in the campsite.

reading is a shite hole but also a real rite of passage, mine went at 16. Box ticked she wouldn’t go again. As long as the group all stick together they’ll figure it out.

VarneytheVamp · 16/12/2024 12:48

We all went when we were 15-16 after finishing GCSEs and it was fine, We were all sensible. A few years ago now, but it's not much different.

adulthoodisajoke · 16/12/2024 12:50

I dont have children.
but I grew up in reading. I knew plenty of people who went and while the majority were fine there was a lot of drugs back then and some of the camp sites unbearable. but it was a weekend.

I know someone who went the other year and they booked a hotel so they could shower and rest in a comfortable place (and use a nice toilet)