Ds feeling uncomfortable by older man at the gym - I’m worried for his safety

[Thoughtthatcounts]

Ds is nearly 18. He has been going to the gym for a few months now. He has tough year with smoking weed and a few mental health problems so I’ve been pleased that he is getting hooked on exercise. Tonight he took a sauna after his workout. An older man ( he thinks in his 50’s) followed him in and started chatting to him. At first my son thought he was being friendly (similar age to his dad) but then he asked my son where he lived and then asked him if he could give my a son a lift home. My son felt uncomfortable so left promptly and walked to catch his bus. My son often goes to the gym in the evening and now feel a bit anxious about this. I don’t think this is normal friendly behaviour. My son is straight and has a girlfriend and looks quite young for 18.

Anyone who feels uncomfortable at the gym should speak to the bosses. Gyms don't want people feeling uncomfortable, they want you to feel comfortable so you keep going.

This sounds creepy. I would have a word with the managers of your son's gym.

Speak to the gym. Your son might be an “adult” but this is something that’s very hard to deal with and he still needs your guidance. We would support an 18 year old daughter by going down and speaking to the gym with her, so do the same for your son.

Yep I agree with @ukgone2pot . There will be others that the creep approaches and he needs barring, they probably have cctv but not in a sauna.

It's fantastic your son is changing his lifestyle. He should tell the staff immediately if anyone behaves like that. Poor him, he's doing so well and the last thing he needs is a creep hanging around.

Does he have anyone he could go with for a few sessions? Could he arrange a couple of PT sessions?

I agree.

I agree talk to the management. This man may have a history of preying on younger more vulnerable men and obviously in this instance your son has had the resilience and sense to get away but someone else may not.

I also thought get a friend to go with him. And or speak to the duty manager and say the guy was bothering him. Or maybe change the time he goes if he can?

What IS it with older men and preying on other (usually younger) men in places like saunas?! I've heard this more times than you'd believe. I think it's a relatively hidden issue, women deal with it every day but I firmly know a LOT of young men also have to deal with these creepy dickheads and their unacceptable sense of sexual entitlemen. Gross. Enraging.

This predator might escalating his behaviour if it's not sorted now, probably exposing himself or something. I would involve the gym and tell your son that he does NOT have to be automatically polite to anybody. Safety comes first, always. Even though it's a hard habit to break, to be polite and deferential to an older man, but these sorts exploit this.

if your son is too nervous to complain I'd speak to the gym management myself. the guy is a predator

Definitely say something - it might be that this isn’t the first time for the older guy and they are just waiting for enough complaints to ban him