Parental responsibility at 16?

[HollyIvy89]

16-18 I feel is a gray area….

what are your thoughts on what level of parental responsibility is appropriate at this stage

my DD 16 finds me overbearing but she is still reliant on me and I am trying to work on myself to come up with a middle ground that may work.

currently I stress myself out big style when she wants to go to friends at night/ party and I worry how she’ll get home.

I read that at 16 is more about providing parental guidance than having that same ‘responsibility’ that was expected before then. Am I reading that correctly?!

maybe she is right. Maybe I am being too involved when I should be guiding rather than directing.

if she goes gets drunk at 16 or misses the bus or school, for example, whose responsibility is it for example hers or mine?

I genuinely feel like I need guidance on what is expected at this stage. Obviously school has taught her now she’s 16 she has so many more rights however with rights comes responsibility and that she has not caught up with just yet!!

I have a 16yr old son at home and a 20yr old daughter living away. 16-18 is tricky for setting boundaries because at that age the kids think they know everything. They live very much "in the moment" without looking ahead at what their actions might mean.

E.g. "I'm going to a party on Saturday night"

Ok, great - where is it, how will you get there, how will you get home, who are you going with, what about your football game at 9am on Sunday morning?!

They need prompting and reminding but not too much hand holding (unless something goes wrong). It's good to be open in communication so you can plan and prepare with them, rather than for them, if that makes sense.

You'll definitely be guiding them, but gradually letting them make more decisions on their own.

It is a lovely age, I've loved watching my two make their own choices and growing into their identities. DS in particular has surprised me, in a good way!