Give me positive stories about your grown-up kids!

[jumphigh24]

I am SO worried about my 2 teens, 15 and 17. 17yr has SEN and a terrible experience of education. No qualifications, zero confidence, nothing to do. Has an EHCP but only gets 1hr per week of support. Tried a few jobs and courses but couldn't sustain them.

15yr old has PTSD and MH issues, school refused to support, despite many letters from the GP. Literally all they cared about was attendance and they explicitly said they couldn't make any special allowances or give him any help as they "didn't have the staff". So that all broke down last March and he's been out of school ever since.

They both smoke weed and sleep until lunchtime. Both refuse to do anything academic, despite me trying my hardest to persuade them. They are good kids, helpful, communicative, we actually have a very good relationship despite it all. They have friends, we have the resources to help them get started, learn to drive, go to college...etc.

PLEASE tell me about how your wonky teens "came good" in the end!

What did you do? What helped? What didn't? When? How?

Tough love? Endless support and encouragement?

I need to know!!!

Thank you @LolaLouise and @Wbeezer , that's SO good to know.

So I have learned....

1. I do need to tighten up on some things/boundaries and risk being unpopular - I'm already strict on the weed - none in the house, I search bags / rooms...etc. Doesn't stop 'em though.

2. Get back on top of the EHCP process - after years of exhaustion due to the madness that is the SEN system I think I had given up a bit. I will brace myself and get stuck in. Thank you @BrightYellowTrain

3. Patience ... lots of it ... the last two posts show that they might just get there, in their own time, in their own way, when they are ready.

A combination of all 3 seems to be the way to go. Thanks Mumsnet :-)

Do DC have ADHD? Some with ADHD self medicate with drugs and finding the right ADHD medication can help.