Feel sorry for my daughter

[Techsavygal]

Hi Mums,

My daughter recently joined an outstanding secondary grammar school in our area. She loves the school and has started making friends too.

However, some of her classmates and friends keep commenting about her height. She is only 11 and is of average height (150cm) and is one of the youngest in her class. Some of her friends are 10 months older than her and are fairly taller.

She is June born and is 1-2 inches shorter. However, she is getting upset about this and this is impacting her confidence. I am giving her all nutritious foods like milk, eggs, etc. I am average height (5 4') and her father is tall (6 1') and hence I don't think this is genetic. She also does swimming, dance, etc but not very sporty though.

Could you please advise if you have any recommendations on how to help my daughter grow taller?

Thank you

Well you can't really make her grow taller but you can help her love herself in the package she is in! My daughter is not quite 150cm in year 9 and loves being small!

I’m very petite and I’ve always loved it. I totally agree that you need to focus on building her self esteem and accepting herself rather than growing taller.
lots will depend on when the girls have started their periods. My eldest was always one of the tallest girls when in year 5/6 and 7. However, she had started her periods aged 10 and she didn’t really have another growth spurt so has needed up as average height.

You can't. My DD is 168 but I'm 180cm and her father the same. She must take after her paternal GM.
150cm is small but I know a couple girls that height and it hasn't stopped them! Plus did you know Judy Garland was 4' 11"? Adrienne Bailon (The Cheetah Girls), Anita Baker?
Don't feel sorry for her. That's not going to help.

Has she started her period yet? She may be yet to have her growth spurt. That was me when I started secondary school. Much smaller until about 14 when I started my period and now average height. Either way, help boost her self esteem. Nothing wrong with being short!

I'm approaching 40 and only 8cm taller than your daughter.

When did height become something that girls were targeted for?!? Your poor DD.

For what it's worth, I've always loved being petite. Teenagers develop at different rates, she maybe just hasn't hit her growth spurt yet.

I'm small and love it. In your position I'd focus more on helping her be happy as she is rather than reinforcing being small is bad by trying to help her grow

I’m only 163cm myself and I’m short but not that short! Grew until about 13/14.

No you can’t help her grow taller unless she gets the excruciating medical procedure where they repeatedly break and lengthen her legs.

I’m pretty sure height is mostly genetics, so milk and eggs aren’t going to make much difference.

Help her confidence in different ways.

I was always the smallest in my class- my mum used to tell me that the best things came in small packages 😃.

That’s not that short ? I am only couple inches taller and fully grown !

She’s only 11!! She hasn’t finished growing.

But even if she does end up being shorter there is nothing wrong with that and you need to make sure she knows that!!

Ds had this mainly because his mate topped out eventually at 6ft 5 so made Ds look tiny in comparison from year 7. Ds is 5ft 11 now at 18.

Ds just had some stock responses depending on who was pointing it out. At the end of the day it is bullying to comment negatively on someone's appearance. One of the more interesting responses he had was oh I didn't think it was polite to comment on someone's appearance, is it my turn now? And then did a full look up and down the person's body whilst looking sad for them. Worked a treat for most of them at they didn't realise it could go both ways.

Dh's Dad is 5ft 7, his Mum was 5ft 2 and yet Dh is just shy of 6ft 3. Parental height doesn't always work out. I thought both my sons would top over 6ft easily but both are 5ft 11 at 18 and 21. I am 5ft 4.

At the end of the day she is 11 and she is still growing and according to this she is fine

https://www.rcpch.ac.uk/sites/default/files/Girls_2-18_years_growth_chart.pdf

I do think you should contact the school to let them know it is happening mainly because when they know they tend to do part of an assembly on it, about making comments about others.

Absolutely this!

A good nutritious diet is fine but when it comes to bullying, if the height wasn't the issue, children pick on anything to bully someone who is lacking in confidence; hair colour, teeth, sticking out ears, anything slightly noticeable.

Try role playing with your dd and discuss different ways of dealing with it. Sometimes just a well placed firmly delivered comment back will nip it in the bud. If it’s really persistent and getting worse though, then I would have a word with your dd’s form teacher and then the head-teacher if nothing is done. But give the form teacher a chance to get on top of the issue first.

Btw eleven and twelve years when dc are throwing off primary school friendships and forming new alliances are classic times when bullying takes place. It’s really awful and I feel so sorry for your dd op 💐

So OP do you believe that tall = better? Because this is the message you giving your daughter. How is it? I could argue that slim is better fat due to health reasons and is something that can be controlled but height is pure and simply down to genetics. Society seems to be a bit obsessed with height, I don't get it but the I'm a shortie.

Perhaps you should change your message to build her confidence and teach her to live her body.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ......,