Teenage boy

[Vic155155]

Hello All

My son is almost 13 in year 8 at senior school. The last few weeks he has been getting detentions when we talk about it he tells me he hates the teachers and he feels like he is trying but gets in trouble for talking. Tonight he was really upset and saying he just couldn’t cope with it any more. I know a lot with be his age and hormones but I am worried he is not enjoying been at school and it’s making him feel sad and angry at times. He is a good kid and does well in his classes he just seems to have a real issue with the teachers. In his words he feels like the children don’t have a voice at school. Am I over thinking this and it’s just normal hormonal teenagers?

Have you had a chat with school? This would be a good idea.

Schools have got more fraught, there are fewer staff and more pressures. Plus he is getting to the age where school can feel restrictive. However he does need to learn to stop talking when asked - most schools give a warning before issuing detentions, so he must be ignoring direct instructions?

I think you have to be wary of minimising his behaviour - he needs to learn to avoid detentions and then he will feel less frustrated. Are you telling/coaching him to stop talking in lessons etc?

I have a 13 year old daughter, so slightly different. But if this was happening to her my first step would be to arrange a meeting with his year head and see what they suggest. Perhaps your son is being distracted or lead astray by some of his friends and might do better sitting alone during lessons or with people he's less friendly with for example

I don't know of any school that gives straight out detentions for talking, he must have had several warnings from his teachers and ignored them. If there have been multiple detentions he must have done this multiple times. Constantly talking in class is incredibly disruptive and disrespectful to other pupils and the teacher. I would contact his form teacher to have a chat, but first and foremost have a firm chat with him, explaining what impact his behavior has on the other children and the teacher and see if he has any solutions in mind to make him stop.

The children don't have a voice..does that equate to they don't get to do what they want.