DS (16) wants to move out

[GentleOliveFatball]

Hello, my 16 year old son wants to move out and rent a house with a friend (who is 18) They are both responsible and my son has been keen to move out for a while. (We get along fine, but our home is very small and now he's getting older I think he struggles with not having much of his own space/space for when friends visit.)
I trust both my son and his friend, they have spent months researching and saving money. Between them they can cover rent, food, bills etc for a small two bedroom semi-detached house, walking distance from where they both work.

However I'm worried that landlords will not rent to them because my son is only 16. I don't mind signing the tenancy agreement if I have to, however I don't know if I can since I won't be living there?

My son is still only looking, and I'm aware I must do more of my own research however any advice would be appreciated.
We live in Scotland by the way.
Thank you!

Google 'cuckooing'. Fucking frightening!

Is he in a relationship with this other man? Something would worry me about this set up. Is he taking drugs? Keep him close. At sixteen he is still very very young, and needs your care and guidance more than ever.

This is peak MN. Not every 16 year old is "very, very young". He could go into the army!

@Flubadubba

"However, you must then do one of the following until you’re 18:

• stay in full-time education, for example at a college
• start an apprenticeship
• spend 20 hours or more a week working or volunteering, while in part-time education or training

So....in a way. There is a requirement to be in education or training (including apprenticeships) until 18. You can't do nothing."

There are no penalties in law if you don't do any of these things - literally nothing will happen. If the council is even aware that you are NEET you might get sent a generic letter encouraging you to look at training or apprenticeships. The rules are there more to force councils to provide opportunities for those who leave school at 16, and to keep a register of NEETs. In reality it's completely meaningless.

My son is not on education. Or work . He claims uc under hardship. He's in supported accommodation.

I used to work as a homeless officer, when the legislation changed so that 16/17 year olds were in priority need unless they were a child in need, we started to get lots of young people of that age being asked to leave by parents. The parents clearly saw the opportunity to get their children a housing association tenancy.
The problem was that when we had to house them, and we did try to find them supported housing first, things often went wrong. Not coping with bills, having mates dossing, noise, mess. Then they were evicted, and that seriously buggers up the likelihood of being housed by a HA for quite some time.
I met kids who just would not complete a form to get their rent paid, because someone else should do it!
So, no, I would not be happy for most 16/17 year olds to hold a tenancy. Because I've seen the failures.

I can see why he wants his freedom, don't we all, but I don't think it's a great idea. If he has enough money to live alone and pay rent at his age, he's obviously doing great, however it would be a much better idea to stay at home and put that money to one side for a few more years and save up to buy a small place for himself when he is actually an adult.

I was brought up to believe that rent was dead money, and I still think that's true. He may live to regret throwing away thousands of pounds on rent.

Care leavers are not in their own property until after their 18th birthday now, I know from recent experience in London at least. My kinship foster placement broke down when I was 17 and I had to be in supported accommodation with full-time staff until after my 18th birthday, there was just no option for anything else (I am 23 now so this was five years ago). My brother was in a foster placement until 18.5, no one even suggested the possibility of moving out before 18, and this was in 2024. Maybe very, very challenging young people are allowed to live on their own, but the semi-independent placement I was in ran the gamut from young people like me who were 100% independent, managing their own finances, shopping and cooking, and chores, to young people on ankle monitors who were violent to staff and had to be supervised while cooking.

If he was off to university he’d be living away in a year or two. Why miss out on independence and all the associated experiences that come with it just because he’s working? The experience is worth the “dead money” on rent!

Gosh I am glad I don’t live in Scotland. A sixteen year old deemed an adult is just crazy.
Your son needs your love and support, not to be shown the door and a fast track to goodness knows what.

I rented a flat alone at 17 so the people saying under 18s can't do it are wrong. I didn't even have a guarantor.

How open would your DS be to having someone check over their finances every month and make sure everything is being paid properly? Is he good at doing general house chores and getting himself up and out to work in the morning?

For some kids this would be a disaster immediately but some kids will thrive with it and I guess only you and him know which type he is OP.

16 is the minimum age for leaving school in Scotland.

I do wonder if it's fake naïveté or just ignorance that despite countless comments stating OP is in Scotland, 16 yr olds can leave education, 16 yr olds can have a bank account, 16 is an adult , they can join the Army fgs, we still have all the mummies bleating no no no he's a young child!!
I worry for these kids being infantilised by their mothers.

He is in college part time and spends all his free time at work. In Scotland you can leave school at 16.

I think you and others you have mentioned this are perhaps right. Thanks

There are a lot of things that I would be worried about.

1. How can he afford it and why would he want to budget so strictly at 16?
2. Is he doing something dodgy that makes it easy to earn money that he doesn’t want you to know about?
3. It sounds like he wants a place to party otherwise why bother?
4. Why does an 18yr old want to move in with a 16yr old?
5. If he is mature enough to do this why would he think it was a good idea if he has a good relationship with you?
6. If he is in a relationship with the other guy then he is too young to commit to moving in together.

I know I'm very old, because I'm not shocked by the concept of a 16yo living independently and in my day it was quite normal.

Whether it's a good idea for this young man to do so is another question, and OP is best placed to know that. My only advice would be to run through many scenarios with him in advance, so he is equipped to handle them, and obviously keep an eye on him.

Thank you for your response 🫶 I do trust him but I still worry.

Hahaha, definitely not growing drugs, although I suspect he does want more freedom and time away from family, which I suppose is normal for that age. A lot of his old school friends got really into drinking/drugs, he's not in touch with them anymore since leaving school though. He doesn't even drink as far as I know.

I moved out at 17 in to a rented flat with three other women. Also in Scotland. Maybe some posters have 16 year old sons who are still kids, but as pointed out elsewhere in the thread they can join the army at that age. Some people mature faster. I was fine. My friend from school would not have been.

OP knows her son. If she thinks he will be fine then that’s great. If he has the safety net of moving back home if required I don’t see the problem. It’s when young people get pushed out by families who then refuse to let them move back if they hit problems, that really causes issues.

It's perfectly possible that he is still in education and working

@GentleOliveFatball he would need a guarantor for the rent. Are you happy to be a guarantor?

I think if he’s old enough to study at college and earn enough money to keep himself , why not ?

It will be good for them to work out how to find a place to rent, fill in the application and have it accepted, pass all the affordability checks, get landlord, bank and employer references , get a UK based guarantor, pay the deposit and the rent, buy furniture and furnishings , organised the utility bills and council tax, contents insurance etc.

If they can do all this then they are obviously very mature and wealthy young people and good luck to them both.

I think this is a terrible idea at 16 for so many reasons and would be actively discouraging this.

I'm in Scotland and moved to Edinburgh at 17 (2 hours from home) and lived independently for uni in a flat. I don't really see the big issue. If he's around the corner you can pop in and he can pop home for food. Get his friend to get the lease and he can be his tenant. My daughter moved an hour away at 18 and he sounds more sensible than she was.

I rented a flat alone at 17 so the people saying under 18s can't do it are wrong. I didn't even have a guarantor.

How long ago was this @DoAWheelie ?

In England no legitimate landlord would accept a 17 year old with no guarantor.

I have been guarantor for DD for the last 4 years. First of all for student accommodation and then for independent living after graduating as she has only ever rented for a year each time.

I think the law has changed since you were 17 or you had a dodgy landlord.

The op said in her post she's in Scotland. So your post is irrelevant.