Friendship issues for 14 year old

[Mumofteengirls2024]

Hi everyone
This is my first post and I’m not sure what I’m hoping to get from it, maybe I’m just offloading but someone might have some advice! My older daughter is 14 and in Year 9 at secondary school. She has had the same friendship group since year 7, all really lovely girls who I know well. My daughter was super close with one of the girls and the other two were close, but this has recently changed and she’s starting to feel pushed out of the group. Nothing has happened, no arguments or falling out, but my daughter’s bestie has become quite snippy with my daughter and is now closer to one of the other girls and making it quite obvious. The three girls get along well and link arms around school, leaving my daughter trailing behind. They also send each other video messages while they get ready for school and my daughter isn’t included. The phone calls between my daughter and her best friend have dwindled and my daughter says she feels like she’s making all the effort. When my daughter asked this girl if everything was ok, she said it was, but clearly there’s something up. There are days when they get along well and one of the girls has asked my daughter to go to the gym with her, but it’s very up and down and my daughter doesn’t know where she stands. I’ve seen loads of posts where people recommend for the left out kid to join clubs or activities and my daughter has done just that. She’s quite social, but hasn’t clicked with anyone, she said that although she has friends at school, everyone already has their best friend and she would always be the third one, which doesn’t work!
Any thoughts? Should she confront the group and see if they want her to leave or just ride it out and see what happens?

Confrontation will lead to her being ignored.

No point.

She needs to make new friends there will be girls who also feel left out.

I think this is the age where changes in friendships commonly occur. They are growing up and finding things in common with others and perhaps growing away from those they’ve been friendly with for a while.
The temptation is to grab hold of the friendship and cling but With hindsight I think it’s better to start to spread your wings and look for alternatives. It might be that in a few weeks or months the friendship will rekindle so I wouldn’t ’fall out’ just leave things on good terms.
If your daughter is sociable then she will hopefully find plenty of others to spend her time with. She might have to just be content to have people to spend time with initially but hopefully as time goes she will build closer relationships and find ‘her tribe.’ In the meantime plenty of family stuff and acknowledge that this is tricky but it will pass.

@Worrywart78 this was exactly what I needed to hear! My daughter is one of those people that if she feels let down by someone s just leave them to it, so it’s going to be a test of her patience to ride this out! The friendship group was once a lot bigger but slowly other girls left to go off with other people and my daughter was really pleased with the four that remained. I wonder if all the extra curricular stuff she’s involved with has pushed her away from the girls as they don’t do anything and on three lunchtimes a week she’s at a club and they are getting on without her.
it’s hard for me to relate as my childhood besties have stayed that way xx