how do you cope when your ds brings his gf home........

[mshadowsisfab]

if she is 14(nearly 15) and your ds is 16
do you make them stay in lounge under your evil eye or let them go to his room. and if so how do you keep and eye on them

I ask not cos i am worried about ds more what a girls mum would want iynwim

make em stay in sitting room or somewhere public (but to be prepared for watching them paw each and slobber when watching dvds - also the baby talk was a bit much - shame there is no throwing up emoticon). IF go into his room then has to keep door open.

also no visits when you or dp/dh aren't there were the rule.

Also dh had a chat about underage sex -went along the lines of its illegal so you could get into trouble, her dad will probably want to punch you but that is only after I've wrung your neck.

fab post poppy34,t esp last line! I totally agree and will save and re-read when I need it!!!!

we have done the chat long ago and tbh don't think we have to worry just yet.
but the trouble is dd. they wouldn't get a moments peace. she has sn and would be a pain. but i wouldn't want her to be excluded on the first meeting iynwim.
(this is not happening at the moment just want to get a battle plan set up incase it happens suddenly iynwim)

If it was my dd I'd want poppy34's rules.

May be worth calling her mum to ask how she feels if they are left alone in the house.

your dd is part of his life so I'd be relaxed abotu introducing her (presumably your ds has chatted to his gf about her). Plus its a sister's right to be as awkward as possible when your brother brings home a gf.

Very sensible to have done chat - dh did buy him some condoms just to be sure as had no desire to be a grandfather just yet

i wouldn't leave them alone. just wondered if watching a film/listening to music in his room with door OPEN is ok.

we let ds do that but I became unusually attentive re asking them if they wanted a drink/something to eat etc etc

I can imagine I would find a lot of ironing to do(i iron up stairs)

think watching film/listening to music in room is fine. If they really want to have sex then no obstacle will prevent it, but all teenagers appear to appreciate some time to themselves/alone with g/b friend

loshad is right - but all you can do is try and set some ground rules and make sure they abide by them in your house.

I am not worried about sex, I know ds. I was more worried about a girl feeling "safe" and her parents feeling ok(hope that makes sense)

I agree with poppy34

i hink you have to impress on him that at any point if they have sex and her parents find out- if her parents go mad - remind him that there is a possibility that she might say it was all his fault and he could get done for statuatory rape.

if he is this will come up on a disclosure form even if he cleans in a school, works in a youth club as a volunteer, wrks in an old peoples home or with anyone vulnerable.

remind him that her parents can insist he is charged anyway despite what she says.

i told my son and his GF that there was to be no sex in my house - but that was quite easy for me as there is a brother and ssterin and out of the rooms - its harder for you. - i suppose you can just say that thedoor stays open - the music stays down and if hebed creaks too much shes out on her arse

hello custy , can't believe that you are finally back and that I don't wholeheartedly agree with you as I normally do

Personally I can't see the point in all the 'no sex in my house' talk, teenagers will have sex if they want to, let's face it if it isn't in the house, it will be somewhere else and there isn't a darned thing you can do about it.

I advocate ensuring that you have fostered a sensible attitude and plenty of knowledge of the consequences of their actions into both of them. More importantly is the communication and both of them knowing that they can come to you about anything. If I were the OP then I would ring the girl's mum to see how she felt about it. If it were my daughter (14/15), then I would appreciate that - we're all different as mums

there is a no sex in my house rule if the girl is under 16.

Sorry it is your house so teenagers and everybody else follows your rules. Dh and I are both christians and we have bought up our children in the christian faith and have taught them that it is important to save a sexual relationship until they are married.
Yes I know that is not the norm now but thst is what we believe.
If our chidren decide to go against out teaching then that is thier decision and we would except it but still would not allow sex in our house,
DD1 21 is engaged and both her and her fiance believe what we do.

Ds3 (16) has a girlfriend who is 15 and we let them go to his room but insist he keeps his door open. We also won't let them be in the house alone. Although I'm perfectly aware that if under age teenagers are going to have sex they will regardless of what rules and regulations I enforce, I suppose I take the view of "Not on my watch, matey"

My MIL (ex) had the house rule of "no girls in the bedroom" which all of us assoicated with the family used to flout (and took great delight in regaling her with the stories once we'd grown up a bit! ) Mind you we were at least over the age of consent....

You can set your rules but if teenagers want to have sex, they will go wherever they can and it won't necessarily by the comforts of home.

Not yet facing this dilemma personally but interested to read others rules/opinions and scenarios. I do like Poppy34's views