15 year old dd friend issues

[Sherbert77]

Hi, just looking for a bit of reassurance/advice. My daughter is in a friendship group of about 10 girls (all girls school). She says she’s left out and ignored. There’s a queen bee who can be very mean and all the other girls try to get attention from her. If she decides someone isn’t liked, others follow. My daughter feels really sad going into school. She’s always with people/has a range of friends but just feels ostracised. If she talks in a group situation others talk over her. She wants to move elsewhere for 6th form (I think this is a good idea). How common is this? Is there anything I can advise my dd or do to help this situation? Thanks

All you can do is discuss with your daughter what friendship is and strength of character. What they seem to be doing is bullying her and that means they were never really friends.

Everyone going along with the queen bee is being spineless and your daughter is better off alone than hanging around with people like that.

I would encourage her to join groups and find friends elsewhere and would also let her change schools if that's what she wants to do.

Get her involved in an extra curricular club or sport that does not involve her classmates.

My teen benefits massively from have school friends and a separate sport based friendship group. Problems with one don't affect the other!

Thanks for the messages. My daughter has a few friends outside school and has a hobby too (not any close friends here though).
hard to move schools as she’s started GCSEs. Will definitely move for a levels tho.
How common is this? She’s had a couple of years without too many issues. Any point getting in touch with the school?

I’m having a similar issue with my 14 year old. I’ve read that getting involved can make things worse and as horrible as it is we have to let them navigate this themselves - unless there is bullying and then you should speak to your daughter about how to navigate this with school. A group of 10 friends sounds quite overwhelming, I’d struggle with that as an adult, such a shame that not one of the others will break away with your daughter or stand up to the queen bee. Why are kids so horrid 😢