DS does he want to see me?

[Thefuture987]

Brief summary.
Single parent to Ds since he was 9. He left home a few months ago for a really good job. He’s 18. We used to do lots of stuff together but now he won’t even commit to a time to meet up - it basically sounds like he might see me if nothing better crops up. We have met a few times since he left but he seems less keen now. It’s breaking my heart but I don’t want to make him feel he has to see me - because he obviously doesn’t have to.
I feel the bond we had has disappeared for him. Maybe thisI normal but I guess I’m not used to him seeing me as a last resort if nothing better crops up 😢

He‘s 18 - a grown adult with a full time job, building his own life and social circle. It’s only natural for him to grow more distant of you given his age and the circumstances. If he was at university then you’d likely only see him every few months so this isn’t any different. Most teens there aren’t chatting with their parents on the daily either. It’s just part of growing up and flying the nest. He doesn’t love you any less, of course he will still want to see you from time to time.

Be proud that you’ve raised an independent young man OP. Honestly, it seems like you need to start rebuilding your own life away from the single parent role. What hobbies could you start? How could you expand your social circle? Are you happy in your job?
I’m a single mum too, I understand how easy it is for your child to become your world but you really do need to find your own purpose. You sound like you are in mourning of your DS when in reality he is doing fabulously. You can’t let your own feelings hold him back

I completely get this! I know most people don’t, but no matter whether he’s an adult or not, it still hurts.

It's not been very long that he's been gone
... he's 18 abd he's probably just excited to be living his grown up life. He's probably just got a lot going on socially.
This is normal and good.
Things will calm down again as he gets used to living away from home.
This is the stage of life that your kids pull away from you and don't think of you as often. It's a natural stage.
He will need you and think of you again in a few years. Right now he's just living his life. Don't think he's gone forever and don't think your close bond is broken. He's just caught up in his fun new life now.
You are still and will always be his mother. He will need you many many times in the future. Just give him a bit of space right now and be proud that he's doing well.