How would you deal with this? Property being destroyed

[MessyNeate]

Had a few issues with DS13 in school in sept. Many phone calls about his disruptive behaviours, many detentions and few meetings with the head of year, things are improving

But one aspect of this is DS's lack of school bag and equipment,

I've had another phone call from
His head of year today saying he didn't have a bag again,

Now we bought him a brand new Nike bag just before half term, and all new stationary/books and pe kit,

Two days he's used it this term and didn't have it today.

I've just been and bought him his fourth bag since sept. And after lots of shouting and tears he finally told me that two of the boys in his (big) friendship group slashed it and cut it and threw it in the mud so he put it in the bin and told me he lost it because he doesn't want me going into school and dealing with it cos it will make these two boys worse.

I know one of the mothers quite well. She will be apologetic etc and offer me money but there isn't an awful lot of discipline that goes on,

I don't know whether to just go into the school and deal with that way.

Or text both parents (the other one is in my son's sports team) and speak to the head of year tomorrow. He's getting in trouble for never having his bag and it's not his fault

What would you do?

Tell him to bring home the evidence next time
You cannot do anything without evidence

I would speak to the school first. Your son is being assaulted and bullied, even if it is just his property. If the school doesn’t address it aggressively, go to the police.

Thing is I know there's probably is truth in it. We've had an issue a few years ago with one of the boys taking an item from our garden and destroying it!

I'd be going to school.

The change in behaviour from sept are a huge red flag for bullying and your ds needs adults to be supporting him to report this rather than him getting into trouble because bullies are destroying his stuff.

Still.. he should bring home his property and ex plain what happened

I'm going to take him into school tomorrow and try and catch the head of year.

Sorry for shouting but DO NOT CONTACT THE PARENTS
Nothing good will come from it.

You need to go through the school - if nothing else, property veing slashed and cut up suggests there are some fairly serious blades (scissors or knives) about, and next time it might be a child rather than a bag getting sliced.

I'm going to go into the school tomorrow. Didn't even think about that. I think they are just using scissors tbh! They all have them in their art packs we buy from the school at the beginning of each school year

The thing you also need to get recognised is how serious this bullying is to be having the effect on ds it has.

You have a 13yo boy who would rather be punished consistently rather than tell someone what's going on. He's scared. He needs to know he's being protected from further ramifications of this being reported.

To go into school would be useful to have physical evidence but do go in and discuss

Otherwise other boy can deny. Without photo or physical evidence how can you prove bag slashing?

The two boys admitted it. They had to as there was many witnesses

Both on isolation, was tough getting my son to school this morning but he seems much better now it's out in the open