BF Father added her on Instagram

[Forestwalker24]

I'm exhausted dealing with my dd15 who just doesn't take advise or listen to reason every conversation turns into an argument. Dd met a boy a couple of weeks back has been at is parents house all week parents seem very lax about rules! Anyway I haven't met this boy but I noticed last week that his dad had ask to follow dd on Instagram she accepted the request. I told her this was strange if not creepy and why is he just requested to follow her and not any other female friends of his sons. Please let me know if I'm overthinking/overreacting as I asked her to unfollow him or at least block him from viewing stories but she won't and says I'm making it weird, what are your thoughts?

Even more logical reason to introduce yourself to the family!!!

Yeah it doesn't make any sense to me.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My parents were the same, I started dating at 12, and did it behind their back BC I knew they wouldn't allow it.
I still did have a relatively sheltered childhood as I had to restrict contact but honestly, I don't think it's the answer..

Regards BF father following on Insta, could he just be checking out what type of girl his beloved boy is dating?
However inappropriate that may seem.

@Jellytrain being so controlling is just as bad as not giving a toss. Your teen is growing into a young adult who needs to learn to trust their judgement of people. Their brain chemistry is pushing them toward their peers and interaction is essential for a healthy young adult. Maximum GCSE grades are not the be all and end all of everything.

Is it necessarily creepy? Is it not just a parent wanting to keep an eye on somebody his ds is clearly pretty keen on? Does the dad have other teens on his insta? It could be a valid way to keep in touch with his ds life.

Exactly, ultimately it's about helping the DCs who are curious to establish positive relationships in an age appropriate way.

I would think it weird if he had his sons female friends on Instagram, not his sons gf though. I can't imagine the the stress of a teenage daughter. Having a teenage son who s life is his xbox.

@Forestwalker24 Given the extra information you have given me, I think the most important thing you can do is to work really hard on deepening your connection with her. It sounds as if she hasn't really attached properly to you, and is seeking love and acceptance in abusive relationships because she doesn't really know how to identify a healthy, loving connection.

She needs to be showered with love and attention from you, whilst explaining that she needs boundaries to keep her safe, both emotionally and physically.

At 15 she should be coming home and focusing on her homework, not out at some boy's house where you have no means of supporting or protecting her.

If I realise that my kids have made a bad decision I apologise to them and say 'I am so sorry, I thought you were old enough to have this freedom/responsibility, but I can see that I was wrong. I need to bring you home and love and guide you more until you're ready for it.'

Build your connection and relationship with her. Show her that you are deeply committed to her and her future. The dad is not someone you want following her.

i can’t believe people think it’s ok for grown adults to follow teenagers they’ve known a week on sm. I knew my sons friends from age 5 and there no way I’d follow them, it’s creepy and weird, I now have a few of my 19 year old daughters friends add me but I would never have added them. If my partner requested to follow my son’s 14 year old gf after a week I’d be mortified, really inappropriate. I work in sw and was involved as a man was messaging his sons gf asking to meet up for the son, the son had no idea the dad was setting up dates for him. We were all of the view that it is odd adding a teenager in the first place, keep yourself safe and don’t

using a teenagers sm account to see what they’re up to is not a valid reason and it’s highly inappropriate

That’s pretty controlling, literally every one of my mates with parents who were always ranting about studies were the worst of the lot for doing the polar opposite of what their parents demanded of them 😂While in their houses you would never think they were the same person when their parents weren’t around, we used to be in knots laughing at the tripe the parents had fallen for.

This ☝🏻
Who’s the “lax” one?!?
Maybe they think it strange that you have allowed your daughter to stay there for a week!!!

I’d say that staying over at some random boys house that you’ve only just met for a week is a bit more than “interaction”,
All good until she comes home pregnant!!!

I also think this is creepy, I would not be allowing my DD to go to his house, and have the boy over at your house instead.

Op how can you have concerns this man is creepy and then allow your daughter to stay there for over a week. What the actual f. She is 15 get a bloody backbone and enforce some rules. Protect your bloody CHILD

Nope, it was after midnight he requested to friend her, she SS it probably to show the son.

I never said she was staying over, I meant she was hanging out all week but was late getting home each night.

DD is not allowed non family members 18+ on her socials,
We/Her friends and their parents have a group WhatsApp so everyone can see what's being said and for logistical ease. But I wouldn't allow 1:1 conversations and declined DDs friends when they tried to add me. I would not e ok with the spending a week there either

Ok, so people have grabbed hold off the idea that I let her stay over for a week, I would never let my DD15 stay at a boys house and even more so one that she just meet.

I didn't let her stay over.

I think I need to explain, my question is do you think it's creepy for a dad to befriend your DD15 after knowing that teen for less than a week? I removed all my daughters primary school friends/classmates from Insta once they turned 12 as why would I need to see what they are doing, I don't even follow her best friend I have have know her since she was 4. I was just looking to open up a discussion, but it seems replies are questioning my parenting.

I did not let her stay over for a week, he sent the friend request late one night as I have seen the screen shot -- she accepted it then followed him back, as that's just what she does. I seen it the next day and she got defensive staying that it wasn't stepping over the mark.

The minimum age for Instagram is 13.
It is really creepy that you befriended Kids too young to use the platform.

DH & I have loads of our DC's friends and exs on Instagram. It helps you know what your DC and their friends are up to.

Is your DD's instagram age inappropriate?

Okay, I’m sorry I presumed from the original post that that is what you meant.

I think as other posters have mentioned it may be a good idea to introduce yourself to the family. Maybe even drop in that you know he has friend requested her on instagram.

I didn't befriend them, they followed me and my account wasn't set to private, when kids first get mobile phones around the age of 11/12 they would seek out their friends mum to see photos of their classmate/friend just to have a giggle. A lot of 12 year olds would be on Instagram before 13, I decided to remove them and set my account to private for my dd privacy and also their privacy.