Son becoming distant

[Loulouise]

Hello,

I'm a single mum to a 14yo son. He's at the age where he wants to spend all his time with his friends. Which I expected, I remember being the same at that age. He's a typical Kevin, rooms always a mess , has attitude on occasion but he's mostly a good kid. I try to organise time just us, but he's just not interested. If I force it, for example making him go on a walk, he just sulks and stays quiet and its just not a nice time, so I don't see the point in forcing it if we're just going to be miserable!
I am starting to struggle with him becoming distant, i know hes just finding his independence but honestly i just miss him. We were always close as it was just me and him since he was 2yo.
To anybody else who has gone through this stage, do they come through it quickly? Do you have a good relationship now?

This book is very good:

Get Out of My Life: The bestselling guide to the twenty-first-century teenager

tinyurl.com/45nxhuwf

My DS14 and I both read it and found it very helpful.

Sorry that had a link in it. Just recommending a book called Get Out of My Life: The bestselling guide to the twenty-first-century teenager

Very helpful

Our school recommended this!

I understand OP, I have two teen sons 16 and 19. I find occasional mealtimes together e.g. pizza and a film better than going out places, just trying to be around if they want to chat (they usually don't)

I know it just be horrible and sad but I think this is nature doing what it's meant to. Are teens meant to start being more independent so hormones change to push them away from their family to prepare them to fly the nest?

All I can suggest is to become interested in something he might be interested in and you can chat about that. Otherwise I think he will come back to you I'm a couple of years

Food!

Agree if you want him to spend time with you make sure it involves food - hot chocolate on a walk or going out for pizza . If he’s in his room doing home work or revision take him up some sweets .

It is the natural pulling away though as they get ready to fly the nest . Make sure they know you are always there to listen don’t assume they know

They kind of cocoon away at that age.
They do come back!
Try to meet in the middle over any shared interest- cinema/ cooking/ walking / that you can.
Car journeys are good- as they have to share a space with you and hopefully chat!!

My son is more distant. We connect over food and I have to be jbterested in a sport he follows. It's F1. It's not my thing, but I pay for it and we watch it together.