Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

DD 16 party question

15 replies

concernedpuzzled · 30/10/2024 23:19

Would you let your 16 year old DD travel across London at 11.30 at night? First proper party - potentially involving first experience of alcohol. Has a friend to travel back with to a family members house on an unfamiliar route but would need to part ways and walk the last 10 mins alone (built up area). Was thinking maybe an Uber instead of the 10 minute walk but still nervous. Want to give her freedom and experience but thinking this isn't the best way to start. I'd be a couple of hours away. Would rather be close by for the first proper party. Thoughts??

OP posts:

Barryplopper · 30/10/2024 23:23

No I wouldn't be comfortable either, especially as she might be intoxicated..defo a good idea to arrange for a lift or a taxi if possible x

pizzaHeart · 30/10/2024 23:27

No, I think arranging taxi would be the best idea. It’s not forever but the first party with alcohol at 16 - I would be extra careful.

TheSquareMile · 30/10/2024 23:30

Hmm, I'm not sure about this scenario. Do you know the person holding the party? It's one thing if you do know these people, a different matter if you have no idea who they are.

Could you ask the family member to drop her at the party and collect her, perhaps a little earlier than you suggested?

Where would the party be and where would she need to get to afterwards?

Original poster

concernedpuzzled · 30/10/2024 23:40

TheSquareMile · 30/10/2024 23:30

Hmm, I'm not sure about this scenario. Do you know the person holding the party? It's one thing if you do know these people, a different matter if you have no idea who they are.

Could you ask the family member to drop her at the party and collect her, perhaps a little earlier than you suggested?

Where would the party be and where would she need to get to afterwards?

It's a college friend. I've not met any of her college friends as they are London based and we're not. Don't want to inconvenience family member. Feel in my gut it's a bad idea but didn't want to say no without getting the thoughts of others.

OP posts:

Cece92 · 30/10/2024 23:45

I'm a village girl so at 16 I wasn't familiar with cities. I don't think my family would have been happy with this. I've never been to London so couldn't tell you what it's like but for me if it was my daughter I would take her and pick her up. I think you need to go with your gut. A taxi home might be an idea xx

TheSquareMile · 30/10/2024 23:51

@concernedpuzzled

Something you could do is arrange with her that you will book an Addison Lee (bookable taxis) to collect her from the party and take her to the relative's house.

https://www.addisonlee.com/

Not at 11.30 pm, though, maybe a bit earlier, as she is staying with relatives.

SunnyHappyPeople · 31/10/2024 08:49

No way!

If you do let her go, pay for her taxi all the way back. Its your daughter's safety your talking about her, why would you even think about letting her go across London at that age?

PiggieWig · 31/10/2024 08:53

I’m with the majority on this. While I’m sure she’s sensible, early experiences with alcohol are a bit of an experiment and it’s easy to misjudge. That’s usually not too big a deal in the safety of friends or at home but it’s not a time to be walking alone late at night.

Pre-booking a taxi seems like a good idea.

Original poster

concernedpuzzled · 31/10/2024 08:56

Thank you all. Difficult convo about to take place!!

OP posts:

HavfrueDenizKisi · 31/10/2024 09:09

We have a 16 yr old DD and we live in London. Usually she gets herself to a party and we either pick her up or she books an Uber (at an agreed time) on the family shared Uber app so we can track her. Sometimes we say no to a party if it's hard to get to/get collected from. This really varies amongst her friendship group though. Some parents like us; some more strict; some totally unconcerned and kids do as they please.

Invisimamma · 31/10/2024 09:09

I think the party itself is perfectly reasonable and age appropriate thing to be doing. It's the travel across London afterwards that's the issue isn't it. Can you find a way to make that as safe as possible for her, pre-booked taxi is a good suggestion but might be expensive.

Citygirlrurallife · 31/10/2024 09:41

I grew up in London and at 16 was getting the night bus and walking home. With hindsight not very sensible especially after drinks/drugs but I did always go home with a friend - can she stay at the friend’s house she’s going most of the way back with?

AgainandagainandagainSS · 31/10/2024 09:42

Definitely get the Uber

famouslastwordsagain · 31/10/2024 09:44

Which part of London and would the family member come and meet her at the part she splits with friend? ( I would in similar circumstances).
DD and her friends tend to get picked up or use Ubers. Also London.

redskydarknight · 31/10/2024 09:46

I think your family member needs to meet her or she needs to stay the night at the house of a friend going to the party.

I wouldn't be happy for a 16 year old, potentially drunk, to be walking alone in an unfamiliar place late at night.

Booking an uber is ok in principle, but she won't know exactly when she is arriving and this may still involve waiting about. If she's not used to getting taxis on her own, she might also find this difficult.

Flip